Valentine’s Day is great if you’ve got a valentine. If you don’t, it can be an exercise in patience. All these couples, spending half their paychecks on dinners and gifts and each other like a bunch of people that are legitimately happy. It’s messed up.
But if you, like some of us, are spending February 14 without someone who, you know, cares about you, here are some helpful things to do to get you through Friday night fully intact.
One Pea in a Pod
Exercise can help release endorphins that will help you feel better about your crushing loneliness. And there’s no better way to create stronger leg muscles than to attempt to keep a tandem bike upright all by yourself.
Start the evening with a few laps around White Rock Lake and you’ll practically be Lance Armstrong. You will still be like Lance Armstrong’s testicle though: alone.
If you’re a social individual (emphasis on individual), then the People’s Last Stand has you covered. Bella Ramos, of Dateless in Dallas, and Elysa Ellis and Nelli Tokleh, of GenPink, host the Anti-Valentine’s Day Bash where $15 will get you a bucket of three beers, Kobe beef sliders, a gift bag and all the candy you can eat.
Some of the money even goes to the American Heart Association, because actual heartbreak is no laughing matter. Party starts at 7 pm, and there’s live blues music, because People’s Last Stand does not understand what piling on means.
A New Challenger Enters
Video game arcades have found a new life in the form of places like Barcadia and Kung Fu Saloon. Apparently, nostalgia and alcohol are a good combination. Head to either, find your favorite game, and then play as both first and second player. We recommend NFL Blitz at Kung Fu so you can really bring the pain, just to see if you can still feel anything in that empty heart of yours.
Where Two Becomes One
“Endless Love” is the most popular love duet of all time. It’s not even up for debate. And what better way to show off your pipes than by singing both Diana Ross and Lionel Richie’s parts at Family Karaoke?
Who cares that you don’t have your own private room. Just find one with people in it and give it a try. Your new friends will surely appreciate it.
Go To The Loon
This one is pretty straightforward. The Loon won’t be around at its current location much longer, so pull up to the bar and order a whiskey Coke. Some of us (just me) went to the Loon for Valentine’s Day last year and while we (still just me) left as alone as we entered, a friend was significantly more fortuitous. Either way, whiskey will love you no matter what.
Kiss From a Bed of Roses
If you’ve successfully made it to the end of the night still as a party of one, then take it back to your crib for some special time. Seal’s “Kiss From a Rose” is the greatest song that ever was or ever will be. Make it literal. Sprinkle rose petals on your bed and then go to town on them as Seal provides play by play on endless repeat.
This night is about you, so make it worthwhile.