Ladies, Avert Your Eyes

Really? Absurd phallus tricks dominate so-called sexy Halloween costumes for men

You can charm your snake and the ladies in this snake charmer getup.
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The skeleboner suit comes equipped with a hand-held air pump — for, you know.
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The longuini and meatballs apron — because women love a man who can cook.
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Genie in the lamp costume, with a not-subtle "rub me" call to action.
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Yes, this is called "hung like a horse." Get it?
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Women's Halloween hemlines seem to get shorter and shorter each year, as the bank of sexy costumes options become more and more absurd.

We can't tell yet if this is good or bad, but there has been a separate-but-equal response in the men's costume section — all seemingly created for little reason other than to draw attention to a man’s, you know, parts.

The unsubtle message "rub me" on the genie in the lamp getup ensures that your junk will get some attention during trick-or-treating.

For example, you can charm your snake and the ladies with this snake charmer costume — and just add brown face and a bindi for maximum cultural insensitivity.

And the skeleboner suit comes equipped with a hand-held air pump to help the wearer "rise to the occasion."

We have no doubt that you'll score a date while baring your sausage to the world in this longuini and meatballsapron, because who doesn't love a man who can cook?

Good luck getting close enough to dance dirty while wearing this genie in the lamp getup. Luckily, the unsubtle message "rub me" ensures that your junk will get some attention during trick-or-treating.

The hung like a horse costume leaves little to the imagination — but you'd better have something to back you up if you go around making such big claims. Carry a bayonet to appear politically informed and well-endowed.

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Fun times in the city

Dallas swings a spot on new list of most fun cities in U.S. for 2024

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Dallas just wants to have fun, according to WalletHub's new ranking of the most fun cities in America in 2024.

The annual report ranked Dallas No. 31 out of 182 U.S. cities.

WalletHub's experts compared each city using 65 metrics to determine their level of "fun." Metrics were split among three main categories: entertainment and recreation, nightlife and parties, and cost.

According to the study's findings, Dallas was 24th nationally in the category for nightlife and parties, and ranked No. 39 in the "entertainment and recreation" category. That may be especially alluring for anyone who wants to explore the city's vast entertainment opportunities (especially during the holiday season), family-friendly recreational activities, top dining destinations, and more. Plus, Dallas is home to entertainment juggernauts like the State Fair of Texas and TopGolf.

Dallas performed poorly in the overall cost category, earning No. 114 out of all 182 cities. However, this category mostly compares flat costs rather than affordability based on local cost of living.

Potential new Dallasites should do their research before deciding to move here, rather than basing their decision on short trips and vacations alone. But we won't blame them for wanting to live in one of the best cities in the world.

"The top cities offer affordable options for year-round fun for their residents, which is good for residents’ wallets and their mental health," said WalletHub analyst Chip Lupo in the report.

Austin (No. 6) and Houston (No. 9) were the only Texas cities to earn a spot in the top 10 most fun U.S. cities list. Austin moved up one spot from last year, while Houston made a 10-place jump.

Other fun-filled Texas cities that made it in the top 100 are El Paso (No. 53), Fort Worth (No. 55), Plano (No. 78), Arlington (No. 79), and Corpus Christi (No. 99).

The top 10 most fun U.S. cities are:

No. 1 – Las Vegas, Nevada
No. 2 – Orlando, Florida
No. 3 – Miami, Florida
No. 4 – Atlanta, Georgia
No. 5 – New Orleans, Louisiana
No. 6 – Austin, Texas
No. 7 – San Francisco, California
No. 8 – Chicago, Illinois
No. 9 – Houston, Texas
No. 10 – New York City, New York

Cities were evaluated based on the number of attractions per capita, nightlife activities per capita, the average prices for eating at a restaurant or buying a movie ticket, and more. Data was sourced from the U.S. Census Bureau, The Trust for Public Land, and the Council for Community and Economic Research, among others.

dance clubs fun cities nightlife parties recreation wallethub