Martha Stewart’s joining Match.com wasn’t just an excuse for Saturday Night Live to suggest that she’s a horny lady looking for “the simple elegance of a good bang.” It also allowed her to narrow down more than 1,000 potential suitors to two, with whom she showed up on the Today Show last week.
Now that Stewart is working on her game of mini-Bachelorette, Match.com is riding the marketing wave by releasing the results of a poll regarding which celebrity America wants to see as the next star single on the site.
Among 1,000 singles polled, more than 34 percent said they would like to see Jennifer Lawrence on Match.com. That is too bad, because Jennifer Lawrence is already dating me.
In second place is Ryan Seacrest at 28 percent, a solid choice for his $200 million net worth and for the opportunity to go to Times Square on New Year’s Eve.
In a serious stretch of the word “celebrity,” Bethenny Frankel, one of the Real Housewives and honestly who cares what else, came in third with 21 percent, because apparently some guys were really into He-Man back in the day and want to see what Snake Mountain looks like from the inside.
Rounding out the top four is Jamie Foxx. I don’t have a lot to say; the dude is just talented. Way more talented than, say, Bethenny Frankel.
More baffling than the randomness of this list is how Jennifer Lawrence didn’t get all of the votes.
More than 34 percent of Match.com users surveyed said Jennifer Lawrence is the celebrity they'd most like to see on the site.
Photo by Jason Merritt Getty Images
More than 34 percent of Match.com users surveyed said Jennifer Lawrence is the celebrity they'd most like to see on the site.
Killer Confessions star Texas Ranger James B. Holland
A new true-crime series with Texas ties is set to premiere on the Investigation Discovery channel and HBO Max. Called Killer Confessions: Case Files of a Texas Ranger, the show stars James B. Holland, a retired Texas Ranger who solved a series of "unsolvable" crimes during his storied career.
The eight-episode series will run on Tuesday nights at 9 pm, covering murder cases that remained confounding until Holland stepped into the room.
The season will debut on January 13 with a two-hour premiere, Pathologically Evil, covering a series of kidnappings and murders that Holland solved in the interrogation room.
Each case has a Texas nexus, which allowed Holland a way into the investigation.
The show also has CultureMap ties: One of its executive producers is Claire St. Amant, a North Texas-based investigative journalist who worked the crime beat for CBS News for nearly a decade. St. Amant, who wrote a memoir called Killer Story about her days as an investigative crime reporter and producer on shows such as 48 Hours and 60 Minutes, was a founding editor of CultureMap Dallas.
Holland got his start in TV with a 2019 profile on 60 Minutes titled "The Ranger and the Serial Killer," which introduced audiences to his unique brand of interrogation tactics.
"When I met James Holland, I realized he was a walking, talking, television show. I wanted to bring his story to the screen," St. Amant says. "The stories that Holland can tell are unlike any others I’ve worked on in my career in true crime television. The way he gets into the minds of murderers and convinces them to talk is unbelievable."
With more than 25 years in law enforcement, Holland has worked on hundreds of murder cases, including serial killers, psychopathic criminals, and ritualistic dismemberments.
“I worked on the really messed up cases,” Holland says. “If they had DNA or fingerprints or anything tangible, they didn’t call me. I was the one who came in when they had nothing.”
Holland’s reputation as a serial killer whisperer brought him into investigations around the country.
“Ranger Holland had the ability to establish a rapport with suspects,” Galveston County DA Jack Roady says. “It’s not something you find in just anybody.”
Using his wits and charm, Holland convinced suspected killers to confess to their crimes and in many cases, leading him to the remains of their victims.
“I’ve spent a career hunting killers. Whatever the case, I’m not going anywhere until I get to the truth,” Holland says.
Upcoming episodes include:
"Lie, Cheat, Kill Evil." The disappearance of realtor and mother Crystal McDowell just as Hurricane Harvey hits Houston. January 20.
"Obstacles to Justice." A 20-year-old father Joseph Douglas is shot execution-style in Texas. February 10.
"A Devil Always Lies." Samantha Norton, a 28-year-old mother, vanishes without a trace in Wise County, Texas. March 10.
Killer Confessions is produced for Investigation Discovery by Bungalow Media + Entertainment and See it Now Studios. Executive producers are Bob Friedman, Alexis Robie, Claire St. Amant, Ron Simon, Terry Wrong, and Susan Zirinsky.
