Martha Stewart’s joining Match.com wasn’t just an excuse for Saturday Night Live to suggest that she’s a horny lady looking for “the simple elegance of a good bang.” It also allowed her to narrow down more than 1,000 potential suitors to two, with whom she showed up on the Today Show last week.
Now that Stewart is working on her game of mini-Bachelorette, Match.com is riding the marketing wave by releasing the results of a poll regarding which celebrity America wants to see as the next star single on the site.
Among 1,000 singles polled, more than 34 percent said they would like to see Jennifer Lawrence on Match.com. That is too bad, because Jennifer Lawrence is already dating me.
In second place is Ryan Seacrest at 28 percent, a solid choice for his $200 million net worth and for the opportunity to go to Times Square on New Year’s Eve.
In a serious stretch of the word “celebrity,” Bethenny Frankel, one of the Real Housewives and honestly who cares what else, came in third with 21 percent, because apparently some guys were really into He-Man back in the day and want to see what Snake Mountain looks like from the inside.
Rounding out the top four is Jamie Foxx. I don’t have a lot to say; the dude is just talented. Way more talented than, say, Bethenny Frankel.
More baffling than the randomness of this list is how Jennifer Lawrence didn’t get all of the votes.
More than 34 percent of Match.com users surveyed said Jennifer Lawrence is the celebrity they'd most like to see on the site.
Photo by Jason Merritt Getty Images
More than 34 percent of Match.com users surveyed said Jennifer Lawrence is the celebrity they'd most like to see on the site.
The career of actor Chris Hemsworth is a curious one, as it feels like he’s a huge star (mostly from playing Thor in Marvel movies) and not at the same time, with most of the non-MCU movies featuring him in a lead role failing to become big successes. But he still has a certain presence about him, which is why he’s being given another chance to prove his star power in the new thriller, Crime 101.
Hemsworth plays Davis, a talented thief who knows how to get what he wants without resorting to violence. When a job early in the movie turns slightly sideways, it makes him think twice about working with his handler (Nick Nolte), who seems to prefer someone with a stronger touch, like the up-and-coming Ormon (Barry Keoghan).
Davis is the main character, but two others who come into his orbit get their own subplots. Lou (Mark Ruffalo) is a slightly schlubby LAPD detective who’s convinced he knows the pattern of an unknown thief that likes to hit places close to Highway 101. Sharon (Halle Berry) works for a high-end insurance agency known for working with ultra-wealthy clients, the types who might be a great target for a thief like Davis.
Written and directed by Bart Layton, the film has a decent propulsion to it that comes with most crime thrillers. Davis and Ormon represent the yin and the yang of criminal approaches, and and it’s interesting to see the juxtaposition between the two as their simmering rivalry heats up over the course of the film. When the film commits to actually showing its crimes, it has an excitement that’s worth watching.
Unfortunately, Layton displays a real lack of focus, taking the audience into subplots with each of the three main characters that prove unnecessarily distracting. Lou’s marriage problems may explain his disheveled appearance, but there’s no need to see him deal with them with wife Angie (Jennifer Jason Leigh). Sharon’s troubles with her male-dominated company prove slightly pivotal, but still don’t merit the time put into exploring them.
The most baffling subplot is Davis pursuing a relationship with Maya (Monica Barbaro), a woman he randomly meets. At different points in the movie, including many of his interactions with Maya, Davis seems like the most uncomfortable, antisocial person in the world. And yet he somehow morphs into a suave smooth-talker who’s able to convince anyone to do what he wants at other key points, making it unclear exactly what kind of person he really is.
Hemsworth does relatively well in the lead role, but he’s still missing that certain something to make his character, and therefore the movie, truly compelling. The rest of the cast is fine, too, but each of them seem to be putting in just the minimal amount of effort to make the film watchable. Ruffalo and Barbaro come off the best, but with the talent in the cast (11 Oscar nominations and one win), they could have been used better.
Crime 101 has most of the ingredients to be another great entry in the genre, and it succeeds when it actually decides to deliver on its promise. But too much of the film is spent on things that have no real bearing on plot or character development, leaving the movie in the middle of the pack.
