Annie Lipski, “dog groomer to the Hollywood stars,” has returned to her hometown. There, she discovers her parents’ cherished business, “The Surf, Turf, and Liverwurst” - a combination sushi bar, feed store, and kosher deli - totally trashed. Behind the dastardly deed is “Slick” Wallace as part of a ruthless plot to take over the store for his employer; Starbucks. To make matters worse, Annie’s parents have been killed in an accidental - or was it? - collapse of a fertilizer bin.

Annie’s only allies are her uncle Leo, a relentlessly talkative teenager named Andy, and a somewhat reclusive and totally clueless “hero” named Hank Aaron - or is it Billy Joel? Hank, a homeless former Postal carrier, hides the scars of a traumatic encounter with a horde of miniature canines who he refers to as “Them!” Can Annie escape the clutches of the evil Slick? Can Hank overcome his fear of “Them” long enough to save the day? Will Annie’s parents’ beloved business become just another frivolous font of flavored Frappuccino's? And - most importantly - does anyone even care?