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    tough questions

    Emotional Hardbody answers: How to keep sister's squeeze from souring family gatherings

    Christina Pesoli
    Mar 16, 2013 | 2:30 pm

    Editor's note: For the fifth installment of Christina Pesoli's new advice column, Emotional Hardbody takes on an unusual family dilemma.

    Dear Emotional Hardbody,

    My sister “Samantha” (who is single) is having an affair with “Chad,” a married man. This has been going on for years now. In her mind, she considers herself to be in a regular relationship with him. She thinks Chad is her boyfriend and is not at all conflicted about the fact that Chad’s wife and children apparently have no idea what’s going on. Chad and Samantha go out to dinner and on occasional weekend trips, and Chad buys her gifts, all with money that would otherwise be deposited into his family’s coffers.

    Samantha and I have had plenty of talks (okay, most of them were more argument than conversation) about this, but she refuses to take responsibility for what she’s doing — to herself or to his family. I have accepted the fact that she is an adult (though not a responsible or ethical one) and understand that I cannot make her change her ways.

    The whole situation has taken a toll on our relationship and we are no longer close like we used to be. I still, however, try to be a good aunt and godmother to my niece and nephew (Samantha’s kids from a previous marriage, age 7 and 9, respectively).

    But now Samantha and Chad have taken things to another level. My niece’s birthday was last weekend, and Samantha invited family and friends to dinner at her house to celebrate. About 30 minutes after the party started, Chad showed up. He just walked in the house like he owned the place.

    He gave Samantha a kiss, greeted my niece and nephew in a way that made clear that he was familiar with them, and sat down at the table like he was king of the castle. My mom popped up and asked him if she could fix him a plate. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

    I made it through the meal but left as soon as we had birthday cake. I didn’t want to penalize my niece by injecting negative vibes into her birthday party, but I really couldn’t relax and enjoy myself with Chad there. I kept wanting to ask him how (and where) his wife and kids were. When I later asked my mom about the whole thing, she said “It’s not Christian to judge,” and Samantha seemed happy and that’s all that mattered to her.

    So, my problem is this: I don’t consider myself to be the morality police or anything and God knows I’m no goody two shoes, but I do not want to socialize with this guy. If he is now going to be welcome at my family’s get-togethers, then where does that leave me? And how do I maintain my relationship with my niece and nephew?

    Signed,

    Squeezed out by my sister's squeeze

    Dear Squeezed,

    I don’t blame you for not wanting to go to get-togethers that include Chad (unless they also included Chad’s wife and kids, but that would be awkward for a whole different set of reasons). In all seriousness, when something wrong is clearly happening and everyone else is acting like things are A-okay, it can make for a really weird experience. It’s not hard to think of more pleasant ways to spend an evening — including scrubbing the bathroom.

    Although you can’t dictate how your sister lives her life or whom she invites to her house, you can control what you do. Tell your family that you are not cool with kicking it with Chad. So, if they are going to have get-togethers that include him, there is no need to also invite you. Then start hosting family get-togethers at your house where you can be in charge of the guest list. That way, you can still see your family, but you can avoid being put in the position of appearing to tacitly approve of Samantha and Chad's creepy “relationship” or even just having to try to choke down food while appetite-spoiling Chad is around.

    When it comes to your niece and nephew, you can maintain your relationship with them by doing things away from their house. Invite them to spend the afternoon playing at the park, working on a project at your house, or going to a movie. No need to preface any of this with a lecture about why you are not coming over to their house anymore. The new routine will communicate the message of where you stand without your having to say anything at all. This approach should prevent your sister’s squeeze from souring your relationship with your sweet niece and nephew.

    Happy lemonade making!

    Emotional Hardbody

    unspecified
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    Hemp news

    Texas cannabis businesses sue state to block ban on smokeable hemp

    Associated Press
    Apr 10, 2026 | 9:17 am
    Hemp plant
    Photo by CRYSTALWEED cannabis on Unsplash
    Texas is cracking down on smokeable hemp.

    Texas hemp industry leaders and advocacy groups have sued the state to block new regulations that eliminate natural smokeable hemp products and increase licensing fees.

    The Texas Hemp Business Council, Hemp Industry & Farmers of America, and several Texas-based dispensaries and manufacturers filed for a temporary restraining order in state district court in Travis County against the Texas Department of State Health Services and the Texas Health and Human Services Commission on Tuesday, April 6. They argue that the agencies have overstepped their constitutional authority by rewriting the statutory definitions of hemp established by lawmakers in 2019.

    “Under current Texas law, hemp is defined by its delta-9 THC concentration of not more than 0.3 percent,” said David Sergi, an attorney for the hemp coalition, in a press release. “These Texas officials and state agencies are clearly attempting to create new law in direct contradiction to what the Texas legislature intended.”

    The background
    Even though Texas law bans marijuana, lawmakers legalized hemp in 2019. State law defines hemp as containing less than 0.3 percent levels of intoxicating Delta-9 THC.

    To get around the law’s Delta-9 THC restrictions, manufacturers started cultivating hemp plants with another type of THC, called THCA, that, when ignited in a joint or smokeable product, can produce a high. Many lawmakers have said this legal loophole has allowed a recreational THC market to appear overnight without direct approval from the state.

    Last year, the Texas Legislature voted to ban the products out of fear that these intoxicating products were consistently getting into the hands of children. But, Gov. Greg Abbott vetoed the decision last summer, before asking the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission and DSHS to increase regulations on the industry instead.

    The Texas Department of State Health Services released regulations on consumable hemp-derived THC products that went into effect on March 31. These new regulations include child-resistant packaging, a significant increase in licensing fees, new labeling, testing, and bookkeeping requirements. The rules also codify the legal purchasing age to 21, which went into effect last year as an emergency directive.

    Why the hemp industry sued
    Also under the new rules, laboratories tests now measure the total amount of any THC in a product. If the THC levels exceed the 0.3 percent threshold, even if it’s only activated upon being smoked, the product will be noncompliant under state regulations. As a result, some of the most popular hemp products, like THCA flower and pre-rolled joints, have been banned.

    Hemp businesses caught selling noncompliant products face a range of penalties and fines, including license revocation and up to $10,000 in violation fees for each day these products were sold in stores.

    “An administrative agency may not substitute its own policy judgment for the outcome produced by the constitutional lawmaking process,” the lawsuit states. “The Texas Constitution vests legislative power in the Legislature, not administrative agencies.”

    Retailers cannot sell hemp to out-of-state customers either.

    The rules also increase licensing fees for manufacturers of hemp-derived THC from $258 to $10,000 per facility and retail registrations from $155 to $5,000, which industry leaders say will fulfill the ban by forcing businesses to close. The hemp business community’s lawsuit is not challenging the other new regulations, including the age verification or ones they say protect consumers.

    “Texas hemp businesses wholeheartedly support those regulations, as they fall within the agency’s authority,” said Sergi. “We are seeking to halt rules that would effectively end the in-state production of hemp and the sale of hemp products — items the Legislature chose not to ban during recent legislative and special sessions.”

    What the state says
    Concerns about the safety of these high-THC products among youth led lawmakers to attempt to ban hemp-derived THC products outright last year. While the overall ban didn’t succeed, lawmakers successfully banned vape pens containing THC and other hemp-derived intoxicating chemicals.

    Data provided from the Texas Poison Center Network confirms a sharp increase in cannabis-related poisoning calls starting in 2019, a year after hemp-derived THC was legalized by the federal government, from 923 to a 10-year high of 2,592 in 2024. Calls climbed to 2,669 last year. The majority of these calls involve suspected poisoning of children under the age of five and teenagers.

    Drug policy experts said these numbers seem alarming, but it is natural for poisoning calls to increase when a drug has become legalized, and the data needs additional context before making conclusions from it.

    Jennifer Ruffcorn, spokesperson for HHSC, directed questions about the lawsuit and what it means for the new hemp regulations to DSHS.

    Lara Anton, spokesperson for DSHS, declined to comment on pending litigation.

    What’s next
    The hemp industry’s battle to stay alive in Texas started back in 2021 when the state health agency classified any amount of a natural intoxicating hemp compound called delta-8 THC as illegal. The hemp industry sued the state over its ban on delta-8 and the Texas Supreme Court is expected to consider the case this year.

    The delta-8 lawsuit will have an impact on the outcome of the most recent lawsuit over the smokeable hemp ban because both lawsuits challenge the authority of a state health agency to make changes to the market without approval from lawmakers or the public.

    ---

    This story was originally published by The Texas Tribune and distributed through a partnership with The Associated Press.

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