Day dreaming

5 ideas more worthy of a White House petition than ousting Cowboys owner JerryJones

Steven M. of Georgia (not pictured) has petitioned the U.S. government to removeJerry Jones as owner and GM of the Cowboys.
This might still happen, but we suspect people will feel a bit sillier if theyall happen to be mobbing a Wal*Mart just because it's the day after Thanksgiving(or Friday).
Mr. Hagman is gone, and the real-life J.R. is getting petitioned out of his poston the Death Star. Only one of them deserves a statue though.
TNT Newsroom

So some enterprising Cowboys fan named Steven M. of Georgia petitioned President Obama to remove Jerry Jones as owner and GM of the team. Before being taken down, it garnered around 3,500 signatures — nothing compared to recent Texas secession petition.

These online petitions are getting a little frivolous (though that hasn’t stopped us from wondering ‘what if?’). Signing a petition online really takes out the excitement of getting pestered at malls or on the sidewalk.

Still, if petitions are going to inundate our newsfeed and Twitter stream, here are a few that are worth our keystrokes:

1. Cowboys must draft offensive linemen with their first four picks in next year’s draft. The Cowboys have given up 26 sacks this season, and it would probably be more if Romo wasn’t such a scrambler. Still, that’s not exactly the skill you want your QB to be showing off all the time. Add to that the worst rushing game in the league and it’s pretty clear that this O-line needs some serious work. Maybe someone like Chance Warmack out of 'Bama, for starters.

2a. The day after Thanksgiving shall be known as the day after Thanksgiving (or Friday). We won’t even say the title of the pseudo-holiday that is poised to overtake Thanksgiving, but this insanity has got to stop, people. I meant it. You’re acting like the offspring of zombies and the humans from Wall*E.
2b. Christmas decorations must wait until the day after Thanksgiving (or Friday). We just like keeping holidays separated.

3. Sriracha must develop packets for their sauce. Okay, so technically these things already exist, but why aren’t they everywhere, right now?
We want to be able to swipe 30 of these from the McDonald’s condiments bar, not spend $3 ordering them online.

4. Nashville ‘Country’ will now be known as ‘Southern Pop Rock.’ Taylor Swift does not make country music any more fun. Carrie Underwood is Kelly Clarkson with Christian undertones (who, by the way, was nominated for CMA female vocalist of the year.) Kenny Chesney is Jimmy Buffett in a cowboy hat. Enough.

5. In honor of Larry Hagman, a larger-than-life statue will be erected downtown facing towards Southfork. Mostly in respect for Mr. Hagman, but also because we don’t have any idea where Southfork is. Is it to the east? The south? The infallible Wikipedia says, “Southfork Ranch is a conference and event center located in Parker, Texas, U.S., about 25 mi (40 km) north of Dallas.” North, eh? No one is going to remember that. We need the statue ASAP.

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Weed News

Texas Rep. Jessica González of Dallas files bill to legalize marijuana

Redheaded Blackbelt

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Texas Rep. Jessica González of Dallas has filed a bill to legalize recreational marijuana in Texas. House Bill 1208 would legalize the cultivation, manufacturing, transportation, and sale of cannabis.

The bill would allow adults 21 and older to use, possess, and transport up to 2.5 ounces of marijuana for personal use. Adults could also keep up to 10 ounces of cannabis in their residence, as long as it is stored in a secure location.

Smoking or consuming cannabis while in a public place or in a car on a public road would not be allowed.

Gonzalez filed the bill in mid-November, one in a suite of bills that also included expanding insurance coverage for in vitro fertilization for LGBTQ couples; and requiring landlords to disclose all fees before a rental lease is signed.

Her bill was filed prior to an initiative launched by Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick on December 4 to ban THC products in Texas entirely.

In addition to legalizing recreational use, the bill also makes provisions for its production and sale including requiring that the packaging be child-resistent and clearly labeled, so that it's not confused for candy.

Businesses looking to grow, transport, test, or sell cannabis would need to be licensed by the Texas Department of Licensing and Regulation. A 10 percent tax would be imposed on the sale of all cannabis and cannabis products. Some of the profits would go towards funding public schools.

If passed, the bill would take effect on September 1, 2025.

Medical cannabis is currently legal in Texas under the Texas Compassionate Use Program, which allows low-THC cannabis to be prescribed for conditions such as epilepsy, MS, autism, cancer, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

Some cities have also approved decriminalization for the possession of four ounces or less of marijuana, including Austin, Bastrop, Dallas, Denton, Elgin, Killeen, and Lockhart.

politics marijuana