Best of the Web 2013

How the Internet won 2013 (Hint: Bat Kid and otters)

For the past 20 years (give or take), the Internet has been blessing us with a multitude of gifts. Some we love, and some will never leave us, no matter how hard we try. (I’m looking at you, Rickrolling.)

Thankfully, 2013 didn’t disappoint online; from Blurred Lines to Duck Dynasty, it was a real mixed bag. But what were the biggest moments? We combed the Interwebs for the cyber hits and misses of the past year so you don’t have to. You’re welcome.

THE CUTE

It’s an inarguable fact that cuteness supersedes most things on the web. Yes, there is still an abundance of cat videos. But plenty of other squeal-worthy mammals got some face time in ’13.

Theo and Beau
It’s hard to really imagine anything cuter than a puppy, except for maybe a sleepy toddler. Throw the two together, and it’s an ovary-exploding combination just yearning for a daily click.

Mom Jessica Shyba now uploads photos of the drowsy duo daily on her Instagram account, so count on this to scoop you out of the afternoon sads well into 2014.

Oona Morrissey
Jezebel readers are no doubt familiar with editor Tracie Egan Morrissey, who gave birth to a 10-plus-pound baby girl two years ago. Well, baby Oona has grown, and her parents aren’t shy about documenting her childhood online.

Her Tumblr page, billed as “the most photographed baby in Brooklyn,” boasts photos of baby side-eye, amazing hand-knit sweaters and much more.

Otters
Sloths are so 2012. This year, everyone’s favorite hand-holding sea cuddlers are on top, thanks mostly to Buzzfeed. As Denis Leary once put it: “They lie on their backs and do cute little human things with their hands.” What’s not to like?

THE GREAT

Camp Gyno
Who says becoming a woman has to be embarrassing? This video sure doesn’t.

Bat Kid
Oh, Bat Kid, star of the video that caused all of the feelings. Miles got the day of a lifetime when the Make-a-Wish Foundation granted the boy, now in remission, a chance to be his hero: Batman.

His whole hometown seemed to get involved in transforming itself into Gotham City, complete with a special edition of the San Francisco Chronicle.

Beyoncé
Is there anything this woman can’t do? On December 13, Queen Bey quietly released a brand-new album exclusively on iTunes. The Internet, naturally, went nuts. Plus, she has the most elusive child around, and she wears pizza outfits while acting as a vegan.

THE BAD

Some things we just can’t forget. Even if we want to.

The Harlem Shake
Early February was dominated by this earworm that spawned a thousand memes. It seems everyone got in on the trend, including Justin Timberlake. We’ll forgive you, JT, but only because you’re you.

“What Does the Fox Say?”
What does the fox say? It says get this damn song out of my head. Seriously, it was funny for a minute, but it’s hard to imagine a song more likely to have you humming it in a business meeting than this Ylvis “gem.”

Miley Cyrus
Oh, Miley. What will the Internet do without you? From your ever-parodied “Wrecking Ball” video to that VMA performance, you gave us a lot to talk about in 2013. Plus, we all got to explain to our grandmother the concept of twerking. Never change, girl.

THE UGLY

Sometimes, things just don’t go as intended. And thanks to the World Wide Web, they don’t go away, either.

Justine Sacco
It’s too bad that spell check doesn’t include a stupidity filter. New York City PR executive Justine Sacco got herself into a real tidal wave of hot water after tweeting, "Going to Africa. Hope I don't get AIDS. Just kidding. I'm white!" from the air of her South Africa-bound flight.

Her employer, InterActive Corp, issued a public apology and promptly terminated Sacco — but not before the #hasjustinelandedyet hashtag caught fire.

Kimye
2013 wasn’t just the birth year of the spawn of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West — the unfortunately named and ever meme-able North West. It was also the year that gave us the incredibly enjoyable video for “Bound 2” and the Seth Rogen/James Franco parody that resulted.

You stay classy, Kanye. Or should we say, “YOU STAY CLASSYYYYYYYYY!!!!!”

Healthcare.gov
You win some, you lose some, right? Well President Obama’s overwhelmingly talked-about and highly anticipated healthcare rollout came with a whimper, thanks to a bug-plagued website, which allowed a measly six people to sign up on its first day live.

Jon Stewart said it best on his October 31 show: “HealthCare.gov is 1 month old. And like most 1-month-olds, it is still just lying there pooping its pants ... and angering anyone that it is not related to.”

Cats aren't the only cute animals on the Internet, ya know.

Wikimedia Commons

Cats aren't the only cute animals on the Internet, ya know.

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Movie Review

Leviticus is a chilling horror film with a timely message

Photo courtesy of Neon

Stacy Clausen and Joe Bird in Leviticus

One of the most well-known horror tropes of the 1980s was that anyone who had sex in a particular film would inevitably be killed shortly thereafter. The new horror film Leviticus updates that trope for the 21st century, with an added bonus of pointed commentary that unfortunately remains as relevant as ever.

Naim (Joe Bird) and his mother (Mia Wasikowska) have recently moved to a new town in Australia. Naim hasn’t made many new friends except for Ryan (Stacy Clausen), with whom he is exploring a rundown factory as the film begins. The teenage boys discover an attraction toward each other, something they try to keep hidden since the church they both attend abhors homosexuality.

When Naim sees Ryan kissing another boy, he rashly tells a church elder about it, leading to the church forcing Ryan and the other boy - and eventually Naim - to go through a conversion ceremony. But instead of making them believe they’re not gay, the rite conjures a demon, invisible to anyone but them, that takes the form of the person to whom they’re attracted.

Written and directed by first-time feature filmmaker Adrian Chiarella, the film is the latest example of Australia being a hotbed for horror movies. Referencing the same-named Bible book that some interpret as forbidding homosexuality, it turns into an intense and clever journey into paranoia. Ryan and Naim still see each other all the time, but they can never trust that the person in front of them is real.

Chiarella makes the most of his limited resources, utilizing dark scenes and dirty locations to complement the already-creepy vibe. But what makes the story hit the hardest is the understanding that boys like Naim and Ryan are almost literally trapped in their small town, unable to find a safe space to be who they are. An unseen demon trying to kill them is one thing, but the unsympathetic people around them feel almost as malevolent.

While the 90-minute film maintains its momentum for the most part, there are times when Chiarella loses the thread on his story logic. At first, it seems as if the demon only attacks when one of the boys gives in to temptation. But as the film progresses, the filmmaker plays a little fast and loose with that reasoning. Certain decisions by the characters also strain credulity, lessening the impact of the story to a degree.

Both Bird (Talk to Me) and Clausen give naturalistic performances that rarely feel as if they’re acting. Wasikowska, who was the “It girl” for a while after starring in two Alice in Wonderland movies, is the only face American audiences will likely know. She does well, especially considering it’s difficult to believe she’s already old enough to credibly play a mother of a teenager.

With a timely theme about the harmful effects of conversion therapy on gay people and a twist on a tired horror trope, Leviticus is another notch in the belt for 2026 as a great horror movie year. With more experience under his belt, Chiarella will likely be able to figure out how to smooth over the bumps in the storytelling he showed this time around.

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Leviticus is now playing in select theaters.

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