Majors as Minor Character

Bombshell Audrey Landers returns and Linda Gray gets a major romance on Dallas

This season of Dallas on TNT keeps jumping into the Wayback Machine. Destination: late 1980s Dallas, with a side trip this week to 1970s Six Million Dollar Man.

We’ve already seen brief returns to Southfork by J.R. and Bobby’s alcoholic brother, Gary Ewing; Gary’s wife, Valene; and J.R.’s long-ago squeeze Mandy Winger. This week we got Cliff Barnes’ old girlfriend Afton Cooper, played again by the golden-haired 1970s bombshell Audrey Landers.

And, by golly, there was Lee Majors as new character Ken Richards, who’s canoodling with Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) for the five remaining episodes this season.

By golly, there was Lee Majors as new character Ken Richards, who’s canoodling with Sue Ellen for the five remaining episodes.

Last week’s installment ended with most of the Ewings, plus pregnant-with-twins Pamela Rebecca Barnes (Julie Gonzalo), standing atop a Ewing Energies oil platform in the Gulf of Mexico just as it exploded into flames from a bomb set on the orders of Pamela's daddy, Cliff (Ken Kercheval). This week’s “Guilt & Innocence” episode, written by Robert Rovner and directed by Jesse Bochco, jumped directly to the hospital, where everyone but Pamela was in good shape after being rescued.

Pamela and her fetuses were in cardiac distress. The episode ended with the babies’ heart rates flat-lining as their genetic father, Christopher Ewing (Jesse Metcalf), and Pamela’s fiancé, J.R.’s adopted son Christopher (Josh Henderson), looked on in horror.

More dirt and deets in episode 10:

Getting a leg up: Judith Ryland, the scary harridan played by Judith Light, didn’t die in last week’s cliffhanger tumble down the staircase in her spooky mansion. She ended up with a broken leg and scraggly hair, which gave her twisted son Harris (Mitch Pileggi, who looks the same age as Light, which is so wrong it’s right) a chance to boost her morphine dose just enough to shut her up.

He then dispatched her to a mysterious “rehab facility” so he can take over her money. Hope this isn’t the end of Light’s tenure on Dallas. Her Gothic performance makes great contrast to so much of the whispery, weepy simpering by the other actors. (We’re talking to you, Brenda Strong.)

Don’t hold your breath waiting for Victoria Principal: The actress has said she won’t return to Dallas. Ever. But the writers this season keep bringing her character, Pamela Barnes Ewing (she was Cliff’s sister and Bobby’s first wife in the original series), into the storyline.

This week Bobby (Patrick Duffy) got a report from investigators who had tracked Pam’s whereabouts to Abu Dhabi, where her trail went cold after 1989 (much like Ms. Principal’s acting career). Why are they looking for Pam at all? Son Christopher wants to find her.

Tech talk: Lots of palaver about “over-pressured methane in the flow pipes” this week. That’s what Christopher worried could have caused the oil rig catastrophe. He doesn’t yet know it was an explosive device planted by his fiancée’s brother, Drew Ramos (Kuno Becker), working for Cliff Barnes.

Smooch-fu: Harris Ryland’s daughter Emma (Emma Bell) has hopped into bed with three guys in the Ewing/Barnes universe. Now she’s mackin’ on a fourth, handsome demolitionist Drew Ramos. That kind of behavior is a ticking time bomb.

Who’s related to whom: Always confusing in this crowd. Family tree-wise, it seems that John Ross and Pamela Rebecca Barnes were almost brother and sister. Now they’re engaged to be married. She’s pregnant (or was until the explosion) with his cousin Christopher’s twins.

Castinig backstory: Lee Majors told Access Hollywood that he was offered a recurring role on Dallas this season because of his friendship with his longtime Malibu neighbor Larry Hagman. Majors last heard from Hagman just a week before the actor died last Thanksgiving, letting Majors know he’d urged the producers to hire him.

Two lives, one soap: Both Judith Light and Audrey Landers are former stars of the long-running ABC daytime drama One Life to Live.

Best Sue Ellen moment this week: All of them. If Linda Gray doesn’t get an Emmy nomination for her consistently brilliant work as Sue Ellen this season, it’ll feel like over-pressured methane in the flow pipes for a lot of her fans.

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New episodes of Dallas air at 8 pm Mondays on cable’s TNT, with frequent reruns.

Linda Gray as Sue Ellen on TNT's Dallas.

Photo courtesy of TNT

Linda Gray as Sue Ellen on TNT's Dallas.

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Movie review

Over-the-top The Bride! makes other Frankenstein movies seem subtle

Photo by Niko Tavernise

Christian Bale and Jessie Buckley in The Bride!.

The story of Dr. Frankenstein and his monster is now over 200 years old, with Mary Shelley’s book having been adapted or referenced in close to 500 films. Less common is the character of The Bride of Frankenstein, which existed in the original text but has more often than not been excised in adaptations. Writer/director Maggie Gyllenhaal has tried to rectify that by giving the character a big showcase in her new film, The Bride!.

Gyllenhaal has reimagined the story as one in which a woman named Ida (Jessie Buckley) becomes possessed by the spirit of Shelley (also Buckley). At the same time, the already-existing Frankenstein’s monster (Christian Bale) approaches Dr. Euphronius (Annette Bening), who specializes in reanimation, with the request to make him a wife. When Ida falls to her death in an “accident” involving her boyfriend (John Magaro), the ideal corpse becomes available.

After Ida’s resurrection, she and the monster become restless being studied by Dr. Euphronius and decide to break out to experience the world. The world, naturally, is not exactly welcoming to them, and soon the couple are on the run for causing mayhem, including a few murders. In hot pursuit are detective Jake Wiles (Peter Sarsgaard) and his assistant, Myrna Mallow (Penélope Cruz), as well as other authorities.

It’s clear that Gyllenhaal wanted to merge the Frankenstein story with Bonnie & Clyde, especially since she sets the film in the mid-1930s. And that wouldn’t have been a bad idea if having the monster and The Bride going on a crime spree was truly the focus of the movie. But most of the time there’s less intentionality in their misdeeds and more confusion, leading to a muddled plot with no clear direction or end goal in mind.

One of the biggest problems is that Gyllenhaal starts the energy of the film at an 11, giving her and everyone else nowhere to go but down. She dabbles in multiple different tones, at times going the straight drama route and other times making what seems like full-on camp. At one point, she even has the monster and the Bride in a dance sequence set to “Puttin’ on the Ritz,” which would be hilarious as an homage to Young Frankenstein if the film weren’t so disjointed.

Most baffling of all is what Gyllenhaal wants from The Bride character. She morphs multiple times over the course of the film, from close to unintelligible at the beginning to rough-and-tumble at the end. There are hints at the lack of control she has over her autonomy, including Shelley’s possession of her and the monster lying to her about her past, but any commentary that Gyllenhaal might be trying to make gets lost amid the oddity of the film as a whole.

Both Buckley and Bale are all-in for their performances, which definitely fall in the “love it or hate it” dichotomy. Each scene is pitched so high that there’s little nuance to either of them, and neither is on par with their previous Oscar-caliber roles. The high-powered supporting cast of Bening, Sarsgaard, Cruz, and Jake Gyllenhaal is watchable based on previous roles, but none of them elevate this particular movie.

Whatever intentions Maggie Gyllenhaal had in making The Bride! are only halfway legible in a film that can never find its tonal footing. There has rarely been subtlety in movies featuring Frankenstein’s monster and related characters, but this one makes all the others seem like stuffy dramas in comparison.

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The Bride! is now playing in theaters.

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