Ladies, if it is your intent to hit the town this Valentine’s Day with a gaggle of girlfriends, then you might consider making a stop at Sfuzzi Uptown — say, around 10 pm.
Hunky Sean Lowe, star of this season’s The Bachelor on ABC, will be at Sfuzzi on the Day of Love for a meet and greet. What does that mean, exactly? Depending on the crowd, says manager Jeff Lavrenchik, either Lowe will be free to move about the restaurant, shaking hands and kissing cheeks, or he will be set up with a receiving line.
If you are curious, yes, Sfuzzi is serving a set Valentine’s Day menu — a three-courser with roasted pear salad or tomato soup, herb-citrus steamed halibut or spaghetti with pork meatballs, and panna cotta — but come 10 pm, the vibe is certain to shift to something a little less, shall we say, romantic.
Lavrenchik says only 6 pm reservations remain — and diners with earlier reservations will have to get up to make way for those with later seating times — but walk-ins are welcome to try their luck. Bar seating is available all night on a first-come, first-served basis.
No word yet on whether Lowe will be wearing a shirt.
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Tonight at 7, Lowe and his ladies head to St. Croix, where he narrows down the pool to four. To catch up on what’s happening so far this season, read the recaps.
Bachelor Sean Lowe is hosting Valentine's Day at Sfuzzi Uptown. Presumably he will wear a shirt for the Uptown event.
Photo courtesy of ABC
Bachelor Sean Lowe is hosting Valentine's Day at Sfuzzi Uptown. Presumably he will wear a shirt for the Uptown event.
In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.
The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.
Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.
Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.
The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.
It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.
Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.
Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.
