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What Sure Thing?

The unthinkable happens on Top Chef Seattle restaurant wars

Teresa Gubbins
Jan 17, 2013 | 2:00 am

In the history of Top Chef, no season has ever telegraphed a winner more clearly than this one, season 10, Top Chef Seattle.

From the beginning — and especially since the departure of Dallas firebrand John Tesar — cheftestant Kristen has been the shoo-in, the hands-down favorite, the sure thing. Her dishes so perfect, her flavors spot-on.

This has left us, the viewers, to numbly tally the other chefs, falling like dominos, until her inevitable victory. But there's no drama there — and that brings us to episode 11, part two of restaurant wars, a.k.a. the day the unthinkable happens.

Kristen is so eager to take the blame for Josie's crappy bouillabaisse that she practically begs the judges to kick her off.

Hints are dropped early of the shocking conclusion to come. The two teams — the all-girl French concept Atelier Kwan led by Kristen, and the all-boy Filipino restaurant Urbano led by Sheldon — are huddling when "Benedict Arnold" Josie sidles over to the boys to gripe about micromanager Kristen.

Their conflict deepens when Josie — wearing a helpful red terrycloth headband that says "CHEF JOSIE" — botches her bouillabaisse. She starts it too late, then flubs the sauce. Kristen must serve it without its all-important gelatin. (Is it rude to ask what kind of $%#! bouillabaisse has gelatin?) Brooke diplomatically calls the Josie-Kristen conflict a "clash of styles."

Brooke has other things on her mind. Make that one thing on her mind: impressing judge Danny Meyer. He's flat and monotonous as a pancake, with a strange, mechanical delivery that makes your skin crawl. But he's a VIP New York restaurateur. As violins play, he'll spot her across the room in her gossamer hostess dress and see her for the credible, talented chef she is. Oh, Danny.

The judges like the girls' service, but they like the boys' food. They hate hate hate Stefan's Germanic brusqueness. He fails to describe the Filipino balut that Dallas chef Josh Valentine made and, OMG, the moaning and crying and kvetching. It puts them in a total snit. Judges, he's doing you a favor: It's a 24-day old duck embryo boiled in its shell. You don't want to know.

Besides, Stefan is responsible for the episode's one good line, when he explains his interest in floral arrangements.

"Everybody thinks that every European is gay, but we just do like flowers," he says.

In the end, the boys' team wins. That means one of the girls will go home. Do they boot Josie for crappy bouillabaisse? Or do they ax team leader Kristen, so eager to take the blame that she practically begs them to kick her off? Padma The Witch gnashes her teeth at Kristen, and so Kristen is banished from the forest.

She pats herself on the back for having integrity and marches on to Last Chance Kitchen. Hey, she won a bucket of cash. And we'll surely see her again. These days, with these shows, you always do.

Judge Tom Colicchio consults with chefs Josie and Kristen.

Top Chef Seattle, Josh Valentine, Tom Colicchio
Photo courtesy of Bravo
Judge Tom Colicchio consults with chefs Josie and Kristen.
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Movie Review

New film I Want Your Sex somehow makes kinky activity boring

Alex Bentley
Jul 31, 2026 | 12:45 pm
Cooper Hoffman and Olivia Wilde in I Want Your Sex
Photo courtesy of Magnolia Pictures
Cooper Hoffman and Olivia Wilde in I Want Your Sex.

Writer/director Gregg Araki has been making provocative movies for nearly 40 years, releasing his debut - Three Bewildered People in the Night - in 1987. Most of them have had plotlines that revolved around sex in one way or another, and for his latest - his first film in 12 years - he’s putting it right there in the title, I Want Your Sex.

Elliot (Cooper Hoffman) is an aimless twenty-something who can’t even afford the rent for his apartment with best friend, Apple (Chase Sui Wonders). Thankfully, he finds a job at the gallery of artist Erika Tracy (Olivia Wilde), who is open with her sexuality both in her artwork and in her day-to-day life. That soon includes Elliot, whom she convinces to enter into a dominant-submissive relationship with her, with sessions taking place both at work and her home.

Elliot, who’s in a going-nowhere coupling with Minerva (Charli XCX), is more than willing to participate, both because it lets him feel something he doesn’t get normally and because Erika offers a perspective on sex that’s much different from people of his generation. But as he gets in deeper with her, he starts to lose a sense of himself, going down a path in which he finds himself talking to police detectives Zem (Johnny Knoxville) and Zola (Margaret Cho).

Araki does his level best to make I Want Your Sex into a broad comedy, and early on it seems as if he might succeed. The deadpan way that sexual objects appear in the film (a penis-shaped rug in Elliot and Apple’s apartment, a vagina artwork with chewed gum as the medium) make for amusing sight gags. He also makes Elliot the bewildered other in multiple twosomes, with Minerva being the funniest, as she’s way more interested in studying than his ham-fisted attempts at sex.

It’s clear that Araki wants the film to be a commentary on the generational differences about sex, but he fumbles his own idea. It starts with an on-the-nose conversation between Erika and Elliot, and continues with the various dalliances, which seem to be more about making Elliot look and feel ridiculous than giving true insight. Their encounters certainly open his mind about what sex can be, but their one-note nature makes them repetitive and frankly boring, odd considering the acts in which the two engage.

The uninspired storytelling makes the 90-minute film drag way more than it should. Araki includes a few other characters to try to vary the tone of the film, including gallery workers Zap (Mason Gooding) and Vikktor (Daveed Diggs), but their early promise yields little results. The framing device of Elliot’s interview with the detectives never works, especially because Araki completely neuters the personalities of Cho and Knoxville for seemingly no good reason.

The cast as a whole goes to waste. Hoffman is showing the promise of his late father (Philip Seymour Hoffman), and even though he’s appealing here, the material pulls him down. Wilde just made her own provocative movie about sex (The Invite), and this one pales in comparison despite her heightened performance. Wonders, Charli XCX, and Gooding are all young stars who deserve to be showcased much better than they are in this film.

A film called I Want Your Sex is announcing itself as daring and alluring, but this film contains almost none of those qualities. Instead, it’s a slog that only occasionally has something interesting to show or say, mostly relying on the power of its actors to hold viewers’ attention - and failing at even that.

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I Want Your Sex is now playing in select theaters.

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