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Outlaw Josie wails

Top Chef Seattle hits the roller derby, where nice guys finish last

Teresa Gubbins
Dec 27, 2012 | 3:40 am
  • You can spot the members of the roller derby team by their green hoodies.
    Photo courtesy of Bravo
  • Tesar reminisces about his boyhood days in the Hamptons when he ate oysters forbreakfast, lunch and dinner.

Episode eight of Top Chef Seattle sets up its premise pretty quickly: Tough-talking tomboy cheftestant Josie is a boor. OMG she talks so much. Talk talk talk. She's so obnoxious, so rude.

But will she go home? Nope. The nice guy goes home, and Josie stays — and we get punk'd by Top Chef again.

We get punk'd because Bravo does what Bravo does: It cherry-picks scenes to prod you into piling all over Josie until you realize you're being goaded into hating on a woman for being unfeminine, and the icky misogyny of it all makes you feel a little sick.

When the chefs break into teams, nobody wants to be Josie's partner, so sweet, easygoing Bart falls on the sword. But he pays the price.

Mud bugs
The episode begins with another slimy commercial for a car. It has a touch screen! And a steering wheel. It is like a chariot of the gods that transports the chefs to a shellfish farm. Hmm, shellfish — must be clams, Josh Valentine surmises.

Close, Josh. It's oysters. The chefs don rubber boots and are set free like crabs on a sandy bog to forage for oysters, which they will have to prepare for mole-like judge Emeril Lagasse.

Tesar does classic Tesar: "I have a lot of experience with oysters," he declares, before cutting one open and slurping it from the shell, with the camera cocked at an angle to make him look heroic. The others stir from the mud to ape his behavior: cracking open shells, smacking their lips, waxing about how it can't get any fresher than this.

But Josie's boots get stuck and she can't move; Micah has to pull her out. What an aggravating dunce she is. If only they could leave her in the mud. Then all their problems would be solved.

Roller girls
For the elimination challenge, the chefs must cook for one of Seattle's top "sports" teams. The "sports team" — wink, wink — turns out to be a women's roller derby team. That can't be right, can it?

After that shticky revelation, the show's interest level drops off a cliff. There's some fancy roller derby shots taken with a camera strapped to a skate, but otherwise, all that's left is to flog Josie.

She whoops at the roller rink. She spills her beer. She reveals that she played professional football. Her loudness offends Josh Valentine, who sniffs disapprovingly, and we know how refined he is.

When the chefs break into teams, nobody wants to be Josie's partner, so sweet, easygoing Bart falls on the sword. But he pays the price. When their team comes out on the bottom for underseasoned, overcooked rice, he gets the axe, not Josie.

The show sheepishly acknowledges that he has a tendency to under-salt but nonetheless allows the malevolent implication to linger, that somehow Josie is the one who should have gone home. For shame, Bravo, for shame.

unspecified
news/entertainment
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Movie Review

Horrific filmmaking makes DC villain Clayface less appealing

Alex Bentley
Oct 22, 2026 | 1:01 pm
Tom Rhys Harries and Naomi Ackie in Clayface
Photo by Parisa Taghizadeh
Tom Rhys Harries and Naomi Ackie in Clayface.

The history of DC Comics in movies has been hit-and-miss, especially when it comes to anything not directly involving Batman or Superman. Over the years, films have been headlined by heroes like Catwoman, Green Lantern, Aquaman, Shazam, the Flash, and more, and while some succeeded, none left a lasting mark on moviegoers’ imaginations.

Much like they did with Joker, the powers-that-be behind DC Studios productions are trying to entice viewers with a no-holds-barred story in Clayface. Matt Hagen (Tom Rhys Harries) is an A-list movie actor with both critical and commercial appeal. Unfortunately, a night of celebration for his recent Oscar nomination leads to him sleeping with Theresa (Ruby Sear), the girlfriend of Markos Szabo (David Dencik), a prominent mobster in Gotham City. Markos then enacts revenge by taking a razor to Matt’s face.

Desperate to find a way to look like his old self again, Matt seeks out Dr. Caitlyn Corr (Naomi Ackie), who’s conducting cutting-edge nanotechnology research that can heal any kind of damage. While the solution works on Matt, it also has the side effect of his body doing unintended things, even morphing into those with whom he comes into contact. After initially struggling with his new body, Matt decides to use his powers to enact revenge on those who’ve done him wrong.

Directed by James Watkins (Speak No Evil) and written by Mike Flanagan (The Life of Chuck) and Hossein Amini, the film is only intermittently entertaining as it tries to sell its ridiculous premise. Right from the start, it seems like the filmmakers have been given a limited budget, as everything from the sets to the CGI to the stilted dialogue feels cheap. For a film coming from a major studio, the whole thing comes off as schlocky and undercooked.

Watkins and his team try to make up for that shoddiness by delivering R-rated thrills like nudity and body horror, but those elements can only distract for so long. Much of the film is spent dealing with Matt’s trauma, and the downbeat nature of his body issues combined with very little action makes the movie not very fun to watch. The film also tries to make hay with more than a doctor-patient bond between Caitlyn — who has a boyfriend on the police force — and Matt, but like the most of the film, it never connects.

It’s not until the final third of the movie that the filmmakers land on the tone they should have been using the whole time. Matt’s ability to transform himself, while illogical and confounding, provides multiple over-the-top, funny moments and some legitimately creative kills. Instead of taking forever to set up Matt/Clayface’s origin story, Watkins and his team should have just cut to the chase and let him loose to see what the character could truly do.

This is the first big role for Welsh actor Harries, and while he’s not exactly magnetic, he proves himself worthy of the lead role. Ackie is also fine, but after several years of trying to advance up the Hollywood ladder, she may be running out of time to show she’s a star. The supporting cast has a couple of familiar faces, but it’s mostly lesser-known actors who do nothing to indicate they deserve bigger showcases.

It’s difficult to imagine any non-DC Comics fans having a strong attachment to the character of Clayface, and the film fails to make the case that he should be a continuing character. The poor quality of almost everything that appears on screen is indicative of the kind of effort and money that was put into the film, and sometimes you really do get what you pay for.

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Clayface opens in theaters on October 23.

movies film clayface
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