Editor's note: There's so much that's beautiful, funny, smart and informative on the Internet. Problem is, there's also a bunch of garbage. Here's the best of the web right now:
1. The Old Spice Mom song. This little ditty includes the catchphrase "smellcome to manhood." It's a clever way to introduce the fact that Old Spice is getting into the body spray game. Dowdy-looking women bemoan the loss of their baby boys with lines like "Old Spice made a man of my son, and now he's kissing all the women and his chores aren't done." Your move, Axe Body Spray.
2. 1942 time capsule apartment discovered in Paris. As if Paris didn't have enough going for it already, the City of Light can now boast a time capsule apartment. Madame de Florian, a socialite and actress, fled her stately abode during WWII. Because she kept paying rent, the space remained undisturbed for more than 70 years.
3. Things you do drunk that would be creepy if you did them sober. Drinking alcohol makes oh-so-many odd behaviors acceptable. Buzzfeed points out just how creepy it would be if you went around your office behaving as though you'd had one too many.
4. Sasheer Zamata is the new black female SNL cast member. It's about damn time, Lorne Michaels. After months of public outcry, Saturday Night Live finally has a cast member who is both female and black. Looks like the wig budget for Kenan Thompson just went way down.
5. Epilepsy drug turns out to help adults acquire perfect pitch and learn language like kids. The future is here, people of Earth. Scientists have discovered that a common mood-stabilizing drug allows the brain to absorb information as effortlessly as a babe. Hit the bricks, Rosetta Stone.