Honey badgers and people you wish you were friends with: Our favorite Dallasiteson Twitter now

Ever been on a conference call that seems as though it’ll never end? Do you take long walks between your parking spot and your office desk? How about twiddling your thumbs, desperately looking for an escape while on the worst date ever?

These are all hypothetical situations that I know nothing about. But if you have experienced any of them, then you are a perfect candidate for Twitter. Don't let the latest Twitter scandal scare you away. Texas Rangers pitcher Derek Holland's experience notwithstanding, Twitter is a pretty safe place to be.

There for you when it’s raining, sunny and even (we have to assume since we’re not too terribly familiar with this stuff) in the snow, Twitter is a home away from home for some of us.

It’s been said that Facebook houses all the friends you’ve got, and Twitter houses the friends you wish you had. And it’s so true.

I’m not comfortable calling myself a Twitter expert just yet, but I do love it, which means I get my fair share of Twitter questions. Here are but a few:

“What’s the use?” Duh, everyone knows this! (Actually, I’m not entirely sure. But I like it.)

“Can I just get a screen name and secretly spy on people?” Well, yes. But by law of the Twitterverse, he who doth not tweet shalt not exact judgment on those who do.

“How do I get more followers?” If you’re interesting, they’ll find you.

“Is it better than texting?” Whoa, watch yourself.

“Who should I be following?” Now that, my friends, I can answer.

The Twitterverse is thriving in Dallas
You may be surprised to learn there are some very interesting and 140-character savants walking among you. And my job, as I’ve just created it, is to uncover individuals worthy of your Twitter feed and tell you about them.

Here’s a list of fellow Dallasites I'm following right now:

@Plesko — I spotted Ryan’s tweets while at the TEDxSMU conference last year. If you follow him, he’ll point you to some really interesting things. He’s the chief creative officer for a company here in Dallas, which means he's rarely at a loss for witty words. Follow him if your friends are boring and you want to mingle (at least in the online sense) with someone who can up your cerebral street cred.

@OhSoCynthia — You know that friend you always wish you had? Yeah, Cynthia is probably it. You’re going to want to follow Cynthia if you need a recap of the city’s most desirable “I wish I was on that guest list” events. Because she was there. Wearing something fabulous. Be warned, if you’ve told someone you’re washing your hair that night, and you wind up hanging out with Cynthia at a shindig, you could land on the front page and totally blow your cover.

@RealPoshMom — This tweet-savvy mother is passionately involved in the community, and if you decide to follow her, she’ll be one of your most dependable tweeters. (She’s posted over 30k tweets!) She’ll give you an insider look at how a mom can get a lot done in 168 hours. (That’s a week in case you’re wondering.) And I suspect if you follow her, you’ll not only get some great mom-related advice, but also be motivated to start working on your checklist too.

@DallasSocials — In writing this article, I spent a good amount of time getting lost amid the tweets from @DallasSocials, which seem to be coming from @QuarterJap, who manages this account. If you follow them, you run the risk of wanting to be somewhere else. Like, at the cool new neighborhood bar, the opening of a new restaurant or event at the museum. If you need a harsh reminder that other people are going out and having fun while you're on the couch, or you need something out-of-the-box to do, follow this one.

@FoodBitch — Somehow, I feel like if you linger too long on her Twitter feed, you’ll get cussed out. But that’s what make Food Bitch so cool. She’s akin to an online honey badger with a very fine palate. If you want some insider tips on where to snag great Dallas eats (or not), you should follow her.

@Gabdraney — Did you know that Dallas is starting to emerge as a really great place to start a startup? Well it is. And you know how that happened? It's due in large part to a group called Tech Wildcatters. This Forbes Top 10 Accelerator Program parks itself right here in our fair city and welcomes entrepreneurs near and far. If you follow @Gabdraney (one of the founders), you’ll be in the know on this growing scene.

@AdamDonaghey — He’s the co-founder of the historic Texas Theatre in Oak Cliff, an obvious foodie with a preference toward, it seems, Tex-Mex. (Check his tweets for confirmation.) If you’ll allow him, Adam will gladly serve as your go-to resource for all things film. You will feel more cultured if you merely read his tweets.

@JoshHenderson — This is a total cheat, but I did it anyway. I mean, he’s in the show Dallas. That has to count for something. He just started filming the next season here in town, so if you’re craving a celeb sighting and your next Facebook profile pic with a hot — I mean talented — actor, you’ll have decent chances if you follow this one.

See? Twitter is fun.