Best of the Web 2013

How the Internet won 2013 (Hint: Bat Kid and otters)

For the past 20 years (give or take), the Internet has been blessing us with a multitude of gifts. Some we love, and some will never leave us, no matter how hard we try. (I’m looking at you, Rickrolling.)

Thankfully, 2013 didn’t disappoint online; from Blurred Lines to Duck Dynasty, it was a real mixed bag. But what were the biggest moments? We combed the Interwebs for the cyber hits and misses of the past year so you don’t have to. You’re welcome.

THE CUTE

It’s an inarguable fact that cuteness supersedes most things on the web. Yes, there is still an abundance of cat videos. But plenty of other squeal-worthy mammals got some face time in ’13.

Theo and Beau
It’s hard to really imagine anything cuter than a puppy, except for maybe a sleepy toddler. Throw the two together, and it’s an ovary-exploding combination just yearning for a daily click.

Mom Jessica Shyba now uploads photos of the drowsy duo daily on her Instagram account, so count on this to scoop you out of the afternoon sads well into 2014.

Oona Morrissey
Jezebel readers are no doubt familiar with editor Tracie Egan Morrissey, who gave birth to a 10-plus-pound baby girl two years ago. Well, baby Oona has grown, and her parents aren’t shy about documenting her childhood online.

Her Tumblr page, billed as “the most photographed baby in Brooklyn,” boasts photos of baby side-eye, amazing hand-knit sweaters and much more.

Otters
Sloths are so 2012. This year, everyone’s favorite hand-holding sea cuddlers are on top, thanks mostly to Buzzfeed. As Denis Leary once put it: “They lie on their backs and do cute little human things with their hands.” What’s not to like?

THE GREAT

Camp Gyno
Who says becoming a woman has to be embarrassing? This video sure doesn’t.

Bat Kid
Oh, Bat Kid, star of the video that caused all of the feelings. Miles got the day of a lifetime when the Make-a-Wish Foundation granted the boy, now in remission, a chance to be his hero: Batman.

His whole hometown seemed to get involved in transforming itself into Gotham City, complete with a special edition of the San Francisco Chronicle.

Beyoncé
Is there anything this woman can’t do? On December 13, Queen Bey quietly released a brand-new album exclusively on iTunes. The Internet, naturally, went nuts. Plus, she has the most elusive child around, and she wears pizza outfits while acting as a vegan.

THE BAD

Some things we just can’t forget. Even if we want to.

The Harlem Shake
Early February was dominated by this earworm that spawned a thousand memes. It seems everyone got in on the trend, including Justin Timberlake. We’ll forgive you, JT, but only because you’re you.

“What Does the Fox Say?”
What does the fox say? It says get this damn song out of my head. Seriously, it was funny for a minute, but it’s hard to imagine a song more likely to have you humming it in a business meeting than this Ylvis “gem.”

Miley Cyrus
Oh, Miley. What will the Internet do without you? From your ever-parodied “Wrecking Ball” video to that VMA performance, you gave us a lot to talk about in 2013. Plus, we all got to explain to our grandmother the concept of twerking. Never change, girl.

THE UGLY

Sometimes, things just don’t go as intended. And thanks to the World Wide Web, they don’t go away, either.

Justine Sacco
It’s too bad that spell check doesn’t include a stupidity filter. New York City PR executive Justine Sacco got herself into a real tidal wave of hot water after tweeting, "Going to Africa. Hope I don't get AIDS. Just kidding. I'm white!" from the air of her South Africa-bound flight.

Her employer, InterActive Corp, issued a public apology and promptly terminated Sacco — but not before the #hasjustinelandedyet hashtag caught fire.

Kimye
2013 wasn’t just the birth year of the spawn of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West — the unfortunately named and ever meme-able North West. It was also the year that gave us the incredibly enjoyable video for “Bound 2” and the Seth Rogen/James Franco parody that resulted.

You stay classy, Kanye. Or should we say, “YOU STAY CLASSYYYYYYYYY!!!!!”

Healthcare.gov
You win some, you lose some, right? Well President Obama’s overwhelmingly talked-about and highly anticipated healthcare rollout came with a whimper, thanks to a bug-plagued website, which allowed a measly six people to sign up on its first day live.

Jon Stewart said it best on his October 31 show: “HealthCare.gov is 1 month old. And like most 1-month-olds, it is still just lying there pooping its pants ... and angering anyone that it is not related to.”

In the end, do we care what the fox says?

YouTube

In the end, do we care what the fox says?

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Movie Review

Jennifer Lawrence plays overwrought mom in thriller Die My Love

Photo by Kimberley French/courtesy of MUBI

Jennifer Lawrence in Die My Love.

Writer/director Lynne Ramsay does not make feel-good movies. Her previous two films —You Were Never Really Here and We Need to Talk About Kevin — were about a traumatized veteran who tracks down missing girls for a living and parents reckoning with a child who might be a sociopath, respectively. Her latest, Die My Love, has a story as dark as its title.

Grace (Jennifer Lawrence) and Jackson (Robert Pattinson) are a married couple who move into a run-down house that used to belong to Jackson’s uncle, who shot and killed himself on the property. That doesn’t exactly scream “great vibes,” but the somewhat manic duo quickly introduce a child into the equation, an event that forms a schism between two people who previously seemed to be on the same off-kilter wavelength.

While Jackson works to provide for the family, Grace is left to take care of the baby and herself at the somewhat remote house. She doesn’t appear to be a big fan of the arrangement, engaging in all manner of odd behavior, like crawling around the floor, talking to herself, and taking the baby on miles-long walks to visit her mother-in-law, Pam (Sissy Spacek), who’s not doing well herself after recently losing her husband, Harry (Nick Nolte).

Ramsay, who co-wrote the film with Enda Walsh and Alice Birch, foregrounds Grace’s experience above all others, but the film is far from straightforward. The idea of post-partum depression is raised as a reason for Grace’s weird behavior, but as both she and Jackson are introduced as two people who skew to the “ab” side of normal, it’s difficult to say that everything she does is due to feelings that arise after giving birth.

Plus, Grace has plenty to be upset about in general, including living in a death house, being left alone with their child the majority of the time, and Jackson bringing home a yapping dog without even so much as a conversation. But the manifestation of her anger/depression is hard to parse, as Ramsay includes scenes of her carrying around a butcher knife, meeting up with a mysterious figure on a motorcycle, and other strange things that may or may not actually be happening.

There is clearly a lot of metaphorical work being done by seemingly random things like the reappearance of a black horse on multiple occasions, blaring rock music that accompanies several scenes, and the use of the 1x1 aspect ratio by Ramsay. It’s easy to feel the intensity of the film’s central relationship and their conflicts even if you can’t make heads or tails of the allusions that the filmmaker seems to love.

Lawrence is put through the wringer almost as much as she was in Darren Aronofsky’s Mother!, and her performance is one that can be felt strongly. Still, because the narrative is unclear, she often appears to be overwrought in certain scenes. Pattinson never fits well with his uncaring and/or oblivious character. Spacek makes a nice impression in a limited amount of screen time, but why Ramsay chose to use the ultra-talented LaKeith Stanfield in the nothing part of the motorcycle rider is baffling.

Those who love to dig into symbolism and non-linear storytelling will have a field day with the arty Die My Love. But for everyone else, anything Ramsay might have been trying to say about the difficulties of being a mother gets buried under many scenes that don’t make any logical sense and over-the-top acting that’s only fit to match the bizarreness of the film itself.

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Die My Love is now playing in theaters.

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