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    St. Croix Shocker

    Claws come out when The Bachelor and his sex kittens sun bathe in St. Croix

    Jennifer Chininis
    Feb 12, 2013 | 7:56 am

    This week, Sean plus six head to St. Croix, also known as the Island Where the Bachelor Comes to His Senses.

    Perhaps we should have had more sympathy for Tierra. No girl can possibly predict how she will behave when forced to live with a dozen or so other women vying for the attention of the same man, right?

    However, if a girl can’t get along with even one of those dozen, shouldn’t that shed some light on her ability to play nice with others?

    AshLee tells Sean that Tierra is two-faced. And his sister, who flies all the way to St. Croix for a quick cameo, puts more doubts in his head.

    “My sister told me if a girl cannot get along with other girls, then that’s trouble,” he says. “That’s weighing heavily on me.”

    And so, after an epic smackdown with AshLee — whom Tierra accuses of sabotage— tear-streaked Tierra is finally sent packing.

    We are torn by this development. On the one hand, her antics are tiring, and it doesn’t matter who the guy is: You don’t want him to end up with a nut bag. On the other hand, Tierra single-handedly created some of the most entertaining moments of the season.

    Good news, though. She doesn’t leave without a few parting shots:

    • “I’m not friends with girls who like my boyfriends.”
    • “The cougar’s back in town.”
    • “Girls are jealous. Men love me.”
    • “I don’t need to sabotage other people’s relationship to get to the top.”
    • “I can’t control my eyebrow. I can’t control what’s on my face 24/7. If I could walk around with a smile on 24/7, I would. But my face would get freaking tired.”
    • “Nobody will take my sparkle away.”

    In other news, AshLee tells Sean she loves him, Desiree hogs all the attention on the group date, and Sean can’t believe how crazy he is about the girl who showed up the first night in a wedding gown. Go figure.

    Lesley gets another one-on-one date, but only because Sean wants to be sure he’s really not feeling it before he sends her home. On their date, Lesley wants to tell him she’s falling for him.

    Be glad you didn’t, girlfriend. That would have been so much worse.

    In a weird turn of events, Catherine bursts into tears when Sean rejects Lesley, because Catherine thinks Lesley and Sean have a lot more in common.

    “If he doesn’t want Lesley, I don’t know why I’m here,” she says. “This is extremely tough for me. My beliefs are shattered about what he wants.”

    Meanwhile, AshLee can’t stop throwing around the L word — even though, for a split second, she thinks her spat with Tierra might have cost her a rose.

    “I can’t describe the overwhelming feeling I have for him,” AshLee says. “This is my husband. And love does conquer all.”

    And we thought Tierra was the crazy one.

    Well, at least they had fun.

    Sean Lowe and Tierra of The Bachelor in St. Croix
      
    Photo courtesy of ABC
    Well, at least they had fun.
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    Movie Review

    Horror comedy film Y2K goes for nostalgia but maybe too soon

    Alex Bentley
    Dec 5, 2024 | 1:22 pm
    Jaeden Martell, Rachel Zegler, and Julian Dennison in Y2K
    Photo courtesy of A24
    Jaeden Martell, Rachel Zegler, and Julian Dennison in Y2K.

    Movies that rely on nostalgia can be successful if they’re timed right. Generally, 25-30 years seems about the right amount of time to try to take advantage of people’s fond feelings for a certain era, which is why movies/TV shows about the ‘80s have been prevalent for much of the 21st century, and ‘90s-set films started to pop up in the last 10 years.

    Y2K, a horror comedy that plays on the fears of technological mayhem many people thought would happen at the turn of the century, is right on the cusp of that rule, taking place 24 years after its timeline. It centers on two teenage boys, Eli (Jaeden Martell) and Danny (Julian Dennison), who are opposite in demeanor but have an unshakeable bond. Eli likes a popular girl, Laura (Rachel Zegler), and Danny convinces him to crash a New Year’s Eve party where she’ll be.

    As the clock strikes midnight and the year moves from 1999 to 2000, everything that uses an electrical current goes haywire, with many of them combining forces to attack the humans around them. Eli and Danny find themselves on the run with Laura, as well as two stoners, Ash (Lachlan Watson) and CJ (Daniel Zolghadri), with each of them trying to use their unique skillset to help defeat a growing robot army.

    Directed by Kyle Mooney and written by Mooney and Evan Winter, the film lands some solid jokes about the era in its opening 20 minutes or so, whether it’s the extreme slowness of dial-up internet, the goofy user names from AOL Messenger, or the various high school cliques of the time. However, many of them seem to echo ones told in 1999’s American Pie, a weird kind of art-imitating-art moment instead of commenting on real life.

    The jolt of the machines attacking partygoers seems to promise a fun-if-bloody romp, but Mooney and Winter don’t seem to know where to take the story. They establish the computer bona fides of Eli and Laura early on, but when it comes time for them to put their talents in action, it feels like two actors going through the motions instead of real people who know what they’re doing. Almost none of the characters are believable or entertaining, and the few that rise above are dispatched way too early.

    And because the filmmakers don’t make you care about the main group, nothing they face is that interesting, either. The villainous robots are made up of a bunch of disparate parts, which would seem to offer the opportunity for funny sight gags. Mooney and his team fumble most of their chances, though, leaving that side of the story stuck in limbo where it’s not absurd enough to be hilarious or scary enough to really count as horror.

    Martell, Dennison, and Zegler are each rising stars who have their individual charms, but only Dennison is able to make much of an impact. Zegler, who starred in West Side Story and will soon be Snow White, is especially misused. They try to shoehorn in a cameo by Limp Biskit lead singer Fred Durst, but his appearance makes little sense and adds almost nothing to the story.

    Filmmakers who want to mine nostalgia, especially in a comedy, need to really commit to the bit instead of throwing in a few references and needle drops. Mooney, who’s making his directorial debut, demonstrates little feel for timing, and so most of the film is like a car spinning its wheels, going nowhere.

    ---

    Y2K opens in theaters on December 6.

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