Election News

5 top fab Dallas getaways to cure those post-election blues

5 top fab Dallas getaways to cure those post-election blues

Cul de sac
Choose your cul de sac wisely. Photo courtesy of Eric Eaton Homes

The presidential election takes place on November 3, and it has many people on edge.

You have people running others off the road: On October 30, a "Trump train" of supporters surrounded a Joe Biden bus on I-35 and attempted to run it off the road, an act that the president applauded. At least two witnesses caught it on video, and the FBI is investigating.

You have people trying to rig the election by voting: According to Fox News' Lou Dobbs, Democrats are trying to "rig the election" by encouraging people to vote in-person on Election Day. "In another effort to suppress voters, the radical Dem Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi says now you should show up to physically vote on Tuesday. Forget all of her mail-in vote stuff now," Dobbs says.

You have Republicans trying to block drive-thru voting, with lawsuits filed in Harris County to not only stop drive-thru voting but also reject 127,000 drive-thru votes already cast. Republicans, some of those votes could be yours.

You have people vowing to storm the White House: Militia groups are planning to bring firearms to Washington D.C. to fight off an uprising of antifa, communists, and radicals. (Gosh, if only "antifa" were that organized!)

You have the National Guard: The Texas Army National Guard is prepared to dispatch 1,000 troops to major cities across Texas during election week. (Originally it was going to be Houston, Dallas, Fort Worth, Austin, and San Antonio — all the cities where CultureMap has an office, yay us! — but they've since decided to skip S.A.)

You have talk of a strike if Trump does not honor the results of the election, and you have activist groups from both political parties planning to hit the streets if Trump tries to interfere with vote counting or manipulate results, as part of a coalition called "Protect the Results."

This is all a lot to process. The days between Election Day and January 20 seem challenging. At times like these, you just want to get away from it all (after casting your vote, of course).

Here are 5 quick and easy getaways that'll help get you through to Inauguration Day:

Hall closet. This close-by destination has all of the best traits of an underground bunker, but without having to leave your home or deal with cumbersome locks. Your closet's dark cozy personality provides the comforting, enveloping ambience of a womb, which many would surely love to return to right now, as well as instant access to your umbrella, vacuum cleaner, Monopoly board game, and high school yearbook.

The trunk of your car. Impromptu getaway has many of the benefits of your hall closet — dark, cozy, nurturing — but obviously represents a big upgrade in that it offers the potential to recline as well as sit up. It's also mobile, which gives you entree to a wide range of locales, from the parking lot of the closest 7-Eleven all the way to Canada or Mexico, should you be so inclined.

Dumpster behind Spec's. The brilliance of this retreat is its unpredictability. Whether you're ducking armed militia, nutty radicals, or even annoying Facebook comments, no one would ever guess you'd intentionally seek lodging in a dumpster. Its stainless steel walls offer powerful defense against a spray of AK-47 bullets, and cardboard shipping boxes make for a comfy makeshift bed. We haven't even gotten to the obvious yet: Bottles damaged in shipping provide you with a supply of cocktails 'round the clock.

Cul de sac in the next town over. With almost no traffic, a cul de sac is a blissful, quiet haven. Also, since it's basically a dead end, there's no way out. This represents a solid advantage if you're engaging in, like, warfare or something, because no one can come up behind you. But come on, we are talking about fun getaways. That's why we're calling it cul de sac — more upscale than dead-end street. Pro tip: Choose your cul de sac wisely. Avoid "neighborly" places like Plano where every car that enters is carefully scrutinized by the locals.

Nebraska Mart. They don't call this massive home furnishings store in The Colony "Texas-size" for nothing. With furniture, accessories, appliances, computers, carpet, area rugs, hard surface flooring, and much more, the store's official purpose is to help you find the home furnishings you need to improve your lifestyle. But with a retail showroom that spans 560,000 square feet, how hard would it be to camp out? The store has 199 TV's on display for entertainment, and 232 mattresses that you can "try." That covers every night until January 20 with days to spare.