It's my Friday Five Christmas gift to you! A column so tightly compressed, so efficiently written and edited, that the 38 people in Dallas who actually went to work today can finish reading it before they finish a cup of coffee. Perhaps even before they finish pouring said cup. To the Five!

1. Mike Miles finally says I’m sorry (ish)
Mike Miles played soft, beautiful notes of contrition in his summoning before the Dallas Morning News editorial board yesterday. The voices predicting his imminent demise surely had an effect on him, and while still dismissing parts of the internal audit that found fault with his hiring practices, he admitted mistakes. Final-freaking-ly.

He also said he’s now open to cutting staff salaries, which is probably a necessary political capitulation but one that I think hurts the district in the long run.

2. American Airlines gets outta the real estate business
American Airlines plans to sell its “infamous $30 million townhouse” in London for $23 million. Now, I know this seems extravagant. But when I worked at Southwest Airlines’ in-flight magazine — and by “worked” I mean “lorded over from my mighty throne” — I once stayed in a company townhouse in Hermosa Beach, California, one used for sales execs.

I don’t know if it was owned by Southwest, or by the people who actually published the magazine, which happened to be American Airlines, or by a sales executive. I will say this was a solid business expense, as it was used to woo big clients, impress other executives, and once by me as a perfect venue from which I could watch days of beach volleyball. Point being: Despite international ridicule, I declare this investment worth it.

3. Dallas Plan Commission says talk to the hand
Randy Lee Loftis at the DMN kept us all updated last night as the Dallas Plan Commission recommended denying Dallas’ first gas drilling rights to Trinity East Energy LLC.

The Dallas City Council will vote on the request next month. That should give me time to better study this issue so that I know one-tenth as much about this as I know about gun laws or climate change or Tottenham Hostpur chants or other important issues of the day.

4. Link between mental health and violence overstated
The DMN’s Nancy “My Butter’s” Churnin has a good column talking about how parents of autistic kids in North Texas are trying to fight unfair stigmas in the wake of the Newtown killings. For a more comprehensive look at why the mental health angle, while important, has been oversold, read this and this and this.

5. Gratuitous Purse Furniture story
Finally, I hope you saw this story that some developers bought the Purse Furniture building in the West End, presumably because they want to do some developing and not because they giggle every time they say “purse furniture,” like I do. Because I am an 8-year-old.

Retweets

I love it when local media celebrities flirt. It means the leaked cellphone video can’t be far behind.

Not sure if this is entirely “local,” but I think he’s spot-on. AVB has to start Dawson against Stoke, doesn’t he? #COYS!

Aaaaaand we’re done.