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    Movie Review

    New rom-com Marry Me is a ludicrous yet lovable showcase for J.Lo

    Alex Bentley
    Feb 10, 2022 | 4:30 pm
    Owen Wilson and Jennifer Lopez in Marry Me.play icon
    Owen Wilson and Jennifer Lopez in Marry Me.
    Photo by Barry Wetcher Universal Pictures

    It may seem like romantic comedies may never go out of style, but in recent years there has been a definite shift. The type of cheesy, completely unrealistic rom-coms that were a staple of the late ‘90s/early 2000s, in which Jennifer Lopez was often the primary offender actor, have more often than not moved to places like the Hallmark Channel or Netflix.

    But now J.Lo is back to try and prove that type of rom-com can still be a draw with Marry Me. And, boy, does it have a doozy of a premise: Kat Valdez (Lopez) is a superstar singer who’s on the verge of getting married to fellow superstar Bastian (Maluma) in perhaps the most public way possible: During a concert being streamed around the world where they will debut their new song, “Marry Me.”

    Problem is, right as the big moment is about to happen, a video of Bastian cheating on Kat goes viral, and in a pique of sadness/temporary insanity, she picks a random guy, Charlie Gilbert (Owen Wilson), out of the crowd and marries him instead. Neither is under any illusion that the spur-of-the-moment decision means anything … until a deluge of dual publicity appearances allows them to actually get to know each other.

    Directed by Kat Coiro and written by Harper Dill, John Rogers, and Tami Sagher, the film is best watched with the knowledge that nothing in it makes sense. If a viewer is going to take even one minute of it seriously, he or she will suffer through the other 110 minutes. In an odd way, the film is so over-the-top and ridiculous that it reverses back on itself to become watchable for its ludicrous nature.

    It also works for what it is because Kat — putting aside the extremely rash choice she makes — is not a damsel in need of rescue. She’s a powerful musician who knows how to make the most of her public image, even when it comes to marrying someone she doesn’t know. She has her fair share of vulnerable moments, but she never feels like someone who’s completely out of control or waiting on a man to solve her problems.

    There’s also the idea that Lopez, after starring in rom-coms with conventionally handsome men like Matthew McConaughey and Richard Gere, is undeniably the more attractive person in a coupling with Wilson. Wilson has his charms, but the power dynamic is squarely in Lopez’s corner in this film. They don’t really work as a couple, but the conventions of the genre and some interesting story decisions make them appealing nonetheless.

    It’s a good thing the film has those redeeming qualities, because it tries hard to get rid of that goodwill. The film often feels like just an excuse to be a showcase for a bunch of new J.Lo songs, with none of them sounding like hits. There is also an overload of product tie-ins scattered throughout the film, with many of them so egregious that an eye-roll is the only proper reaction.

    J.Lo’s character is referred to as “north of 35” in the film, but the 52-year-old looks so good that she can pull off that preposterous statement. While there are other people in the film — in addition to Wilson and Maluma, it co-stars John Bradley from Game of Thrones and Sarah Silverman — Lopez is the shining beacon at the center who never loses the focus.

    The majority of people who commit to watching Marry Me will know exactly what to expect, and the film does not disappoint in that respect. It’s not going to join the list of classic rom-coms, but that was never its goal.

    ---

    Marry Me opens in theaters and debuts on Peacock on February 11.

    Owen Wilson and Jennifer Lopez in Marry Me.

    Owen Wilson and Jennifer Lopez in Marry Me
    Photo by Barry Wetcher/Universal Pictures
    Owen Wilson and Jennifer Lopez in Marry Me.
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    Movie Review

    Comedy all-stars Jack Black and Paul Rudd can't save Anaconda sequel

    Alex Bentley
    Dec 26, 2025 | 1:01 pm
    Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda
    Photo by Matt Grace
    Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

    In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

    The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

    Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

    Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

    The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

    It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

    Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

    Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

    ---

    Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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