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    Of countesses and kings

    With so many bullets and dredged-up rivalries, Dallas is drilling in the wrong direction

    Elaine Liner
    Feb 11, 2013 | 11:39 pm

    Consider J.R. Ewing the Dowager Countess of Southfork. Quick with a quip even in his dotage (he’ll be eulogized by episode eight), J.R. has a way of snapping off the end of his conversations with lesser mortals the way Dame Maggie Smith’s character does on Downton Abbey.

    Notice how young actor Josh Henderson, playing J.R. and Sue Ellen’s son, John Ross, tries more each week to sound like Larry Hagman as this reboot of Dallas moves toward Hagman’s death. Good luck with that.

    In this week’s episode — No. 4, if you’re counting — writer Taylor Hamra gave old J.R. some doozies in the dialogue department. “Like invitin’ a vampire into our home,” he says of John Ross’ “cavortin’” with Ewing enemy Pamela Barnes (Julie Gonzalo).

    They’ve pumped so many bullets into so many characters, the series could be sponsored by the NRA.

    And when J.R.’s little brother takes the rap for last week’s shooting of family nemesis Harris Ryland (actually, Bobby’s wife Ann pulled the trigger), J.R. observes that he won’t try talking Bobby out of being valiant: “I’ve got a better chance of winning the Good Samaritan award.”

    Theme of this episode: “Drillin’ in the wrong direction,” a reference to a Southfork oil well operation sabotaged by John Ross. Also applies to John Ross’ bedroom explorations with the oily temptress, Pamela, and to his wooing of her daddy, Cliff Barnes, to double-cross J.R.

    It also applies to the clunky plotting this season. They’ve dredged up too many old Dallas rivalries and pumped so many bullets into so many characters, the series could be sponsored by the NRA. They’re even playing “Who shot Harris Ryland?,” with that character, played by Mitch Pileggi, coming out of his coma and implicating Bobby as the would-be murderer, not real shooter Ann (Brenda Strong, weeping buckets as always).

    Light in the darkness: The great Judith Light plays this season's biggest heavy. She's Harris Ryland’s mother, making her Ann Ewing’s ex-mom-in-law and grandmother to Ann’s long-lost daughter. (Their family tree has to be a weeping willow.)

    This week, Miss Light, beige hair wrapped up in a vicious French twist, delivered a soliloquy at her son’s hospital bedside, where she spat out words of hate about Ann. Then, in a moment right out of Shakespearean soap opera, she whispered in comatose Harris’ ear: “Sleep well. Gather your strength. When you wake, you will be king once more.”

    She’d be better if she dropped that community theater Streetcar Named Desire accent.

    Judith Light would be better if she dropped that community theater Streetcar Named Desire accent.

    Real Dallas actors with screen time: Ochre House Theatre’s Matthew Posey had four good scenes this week as the bought-off drilling foreman working on the sly for John Ross Ewing. Posey can guzzle fake booze and act, and chew food and act, all while wearing double denim (which can’t be said for some of the stars of this series).

    Longtime Dallas stage actress Pam Dougherty pounded a gavel with great conviction as a judge. (We hear she was wearing Birkenstocks under her judicial robes in that scene.) Uptown Players’ stage manager Cathy O’Neal was in the gallery in the courtroom scene.

    We’ve been there: White Rock Lake got name-checked as the site where the corpse of murdered Tommy Sutter (killed last season) was discovered. And the first sight of original Dallas series veteran Ken Kercheval, back as Cliff Barnes, came in a secret meeting with John Ross in what looked like the empty audience section of Gexa Energy Pavilion at Fair Park.

    No reason was given why ol’ Cliff was sitting around the empty venue. Grabbing an early seat for One Direction perhaps?

    CSI: Dallas: Aforementioned Sutter corpse was given the CSI gruesome close-up treatment in a montage showing bullets extracted from the moldering flesh. Then, to a pounding score of tough guitar chords, they ran through some zippily edited ballistics tests. This episode was directed by San Antonio native Stephen Herek, who directed the feature films Mr. Holland’s Opus and The Mighty Ducks.

    Sue Ellen as Cassandra: Like a seer from mythology, Sue Ellen Ewing (Linda Gray, growing more fabulous by the week) warns son John Ross about the consequences of bringing Cliff Barnes back into their lives. “Be prepared to face the full weight of his fury,” she says of J.R.’s wrath.

    Hard scene to swallow: “Smiling Frank” (Fahran Tahrir), the Barnes family muscle, was arrested for last season’s murder of Tommy Sutter. In court Frank blurted out that he also murdered Tommy’s sister, Becky.

    As the extras in the courtroom mumbled “watermelon, watermelon,” Frank pulled a cyanide capsule out of his pocket and swallowed it, a grabbed-from-headlines twist from this real-life case.

    Coming up: J.R. disappears. Bobby is framed for attempted murder. Keep those tear ducts clear, Annie!

    ---

    New episodes of Dallas air at 8 pm Mondays, with repeats online and on cable’s TNT.

    Larry Hagman and Josh Henderson on Dallas.

      
    Photo courtesy of TNT
    Larry Hagman and Josh Henderson on Dallas.
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    Traffic News

    Dallas Bike Ride event will close down streets around downtown

    Teresa Gubbins
    May 15, 2025 | 6:20 pm
    Dallas Bike Ride
    Dallas Bike Ride
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    Thousands of bicyclists are expected to hit the streets of Dallas thanks to the Dallas Bike Ride, an annual ride taking place on Saturday, May 17 that's anticipated to draw 4,000 riders.

    Described as a family-friendly celebration of cycling and community, the Dallas Bike Ride welcomes riders of all ages and abilities to cruise at their own pace past iconic Dallas landmarks including Reunion Tower and the JFK Memorial. It's a recreational ride with a festive atmosphere: snacks, drinks, photo opportunities, and live music along the route.

    The 20-mile ride is "car-free" because — just like the marathon — it blocks off the streets where it passes, and those streets include the most densely populated neighborhoods in the inner city/urban core: the Central Business District, Victory Park, the Design District, West Dallas, Kessler Park, and the Bishop Arts District.

    That means four hours of avoiding those neighborhoods if you are driving, since it begins at 8 am, and is anticipated to last until 12 pm.

    A course guide highlights the neighborhoods and times that motorists are advised to avoid.

    The ride will start at City Hall, then cross over to Victory Park, before heading to Uptown and Oak Lawn, then through the Design District, to West Dallas, before doubling back towards downtown.

    From there it will swing over to Kessler Park and Bishop Arts before returning to downtown Dallas where it will end at City Hall with a branded Methodist Dallas Finish Festival, featuring live music, a beer garden, and food trucks.

    • Downtown Dallas will be closed from 7:45 am-12 pm, along Ervay, Commerce, Young, and Marilla.
    • Victory Park will be closed from 7:51-9 am, along Houston Street and Nowitzski Way.
    • Oak Lawn will be closed from 7:53-9:35 am, along Cedar Springs, Maple Avenue, Turtle Creek Boulevard, and Oak Lawn Avenue.
    • West Dallas will be closed from 7:48-10:40 am, along Continental Avenue, Riverfront Boulevard, and Commerce Street.
    • Kessler Park will be closed from 8:28-11:08 am, along Edgefield Avenue, Kessler Parkway, and Colorado Boulevard.
    • Bishop Arts will be closed from 8:32-11:59 am, along Tyler Street, Polk Street, West 12th Street, Zang Boulevard, and Jefferson Boulevard.

    The specific streets and times are listed here.

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