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    Football fantasies

    Tony Romo as Mother Teresa and other Halloween costume ideas for the DallasCowboys

    Brad Seal
    Oct 29, 2012 | 9:50 am
    • By outpacing his touchdown throws with interceptions, Tony Romo is as charitableas Mother Teresa.
      Illustration by Ben Humeniuk
    • Like Kenobi, Jason Witten is a proud and noble warrior.
      Illustration by Ben Humeniuk
    • Jason Garrett’s cerebral approach seems to lack heavy emotion as though he werea cyborg.
      Illustration by Ben Humeniuk

    Halloween is upon us, and chances are you or someone you know is scrambling to find a costume. Because it’s the middle of the NFL season, we figured the Dallas Cowboys didn’t have time to think about Halloween costumes, so we decided to help them brainstorm.

    Tony Romo: Mother Teresa
    Being charitable is a wonderful quality. Romo has apparently taken that to heart. He has been very charitable with the ball, giving it away multiple times this season. Maybe Romo should be more like Gordon Gekko on the field.

    DeMarco Murray: The Three Little Pigs
    Poor DeMarco Murray. He wants to run, but the shelter that is his offensive line keeps getting blown down around him. Maybe that means he should just be two of the little pigs, because he hasn’t found his house made of brick yet.

    Dez Bryant: Bart Simpson
    He’s definitely the troublemaker of the family.

    Jason Witten: Obi Wan Kenobi
    Like Kenobi, Witten is a proud and noble warrior. He’s also aging and losing his effectiveness. The Cowboys would be wise to find a young fresh Jedi whom Witten can tutor. They drafted Martellus Bennett to do that, but he turned out to be more like Jar Jar Binks.

    Kevin Ogletree: American Idol contestant
    Ogletree had his big moment in the first game of the season against the Giants. His luster has worn off.

    Tyron Smith: Marylin Munster
    Much like the beautiful blonde niece of the Munster family, Smith is the only member of the Cowboys offensive line that can show himself in public without getting ridiculed.

    Felix Jones: a disco ball
    At one point, disco was hugely popular. Then people wanted nothing to do with it. Also, like a disco ball, Jones seems to shatter whenever he’s hit hard (Jones’ performance against the Ravens notwithstanding).

    DeMarcus Ware: The Big Bad Wolf
    A costume to pair with DeMarco Murray’s, Ware is the only Cowboy who can consistently blow other teams’ houses down with his pass rush.

    Morris Claiborne and Brandon Carr: EMT workers
    The two cornerbacks were brought in to revive a dying Dallas pass defense. They’ve done an admirable job so far, but nearly lost the patient in the game against Chicago.

    Sean Lee: Crash Test Dummy
    Lee is a great player, but that hit by Golden Tate of Seattle is what most people think of when they hear his name.

    Jason Garrett: Robocop
    Or is it Robocoach? Garrett’s cerebral approach seems to lack heavy emotion as though he were a cyborg.

    Jerry Jones: Roman Emperor Nero
    Unfair? Possibly. This franchise used to be the pride of the league. Now Jones could fiddle because it seems to be burning to the ground in terms of on-field success.

    Happy Halloween, everyone! Let’s hope for a treat — not a trick — from the Cowboys this weekend.

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    Sports Meets Comedy

    Savannah Bananas to bring their wacky baseball tour to Arlington

    Alex Bentley
    Oct 10, 2025 | 11:01 am
    Savannah Bananas
    Photo by Ashley Smithson
    The Savannah Bananas will play at Globe Life Field in Arlington on September 25-27, 2026.

    Baseball fans are in for a bizarro version of the sport when the Savannah Bananas make their debut at Globe Life Field in Arlington on September 25-27, 2026.

    The Bananas are a professional baseball team that has become a worldwide sensation for their entertaining style of play that's far removed from what can be found in Major League Baseball.

    The team plays a fan-involved and fast-paced style of baseball called “Banana Ball,” which features unique rules such as no bunting or walks, fans catching foul balls for outs, and a two-hour time limit.

    They are also known for spontaneously breaking out into choreographed dances, putting on epic scoring celebrations, and swinging flaming bats, among an array of other antics.

    The visit to Arlington will include three games against the Texas Tailgaters, one of six teams in the Banana Ball league that has grown to include teams with names like Party Animals, Loco Beach Coconuts, and Indianapolis Clowns.

    The visit to Globe Life Field (taking place while the Texas Rangers are on the road playing the Minnesota Twins) is part of a large 2026 Banana Ball World Tour.

    While this will be the only stop by the Bananas in Dallas-Fort Worth, fans can also see the Texas Tailgaters play the Loco Beach Coconuts at Riders Field in Frisco on March 7 and 8.

    The Tailgaters will also play the Indianapolis Clowns at Dell Diamond in the Austin suburb of Round Rock on March 14 and 15; against the Coconuts at Nelson W. Wolff Municipal Stadium in San Antonio on June 26 and 27; and against the Party Animals at Constellation Field in Sugar Land on August 28 and 29.

    Tickets for the Savannah Bananas and the league in general have become so popular that fans must enter a lottery just for the chance to buy them. The lottery form will be open through October 31 at bananaballticketlottery.fansfirsttickets.com.

    Globe Life Field will also offer a limited number of premium lower concourse tickets for each of the three games. This allotment of tickets will go on sale to the public on Tuesday, October 21 at 10 am CT at GlobeLifeField.com/bananas.

    Fans interested in presale access have two options:

    • Priority Presale – Available on Monday, October 20, from 10 am to 4 pm CT. Fans who place a deposit on a Rangers 2026 season ticket package by October 15, 2025, will receive access to this exclusive presale window.
    • Regular Presale – Available on Monday, October 20, from 4 to 10 pm CT. Fans can sign up for Globe Life Field and Texas Rangers email alerts or text “RANGERS” to 76432 to receive presale notifications via text.
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