Reading HuffPo's article on the worst parts of summer got us thinking about all the reasons we dreaded the hot season. Sure, many parts of the country have it rough, but we Texans get the brunt of it, with record-breaking temps.
It almost seems unfair to call summer a "season," in the Lone Star State, because it stays hot here well into months that, by normal standards, fall into fall. We put our heads together and came up with the top 10 reasons to hate summer in Texas:
1. There are no good beaches for clam bakes.
We can picnic on man-made lakes like Travis, Conroe and Ray Hubbard, but there's nothing like a New England clam bake on the cool Atlantic coast.
2. Ice cream sandwiches devolve into a crime scene halfway through.
There are never enough napkins to keep up with the mess, so we generally avoid this frozen treat all together.
3. Backyard pools get so hot it's more like taking a bath than a swim.
These days a dip in the water is anything but refreshing.
4. The heat is so draining that we're too tired to make our own hot dogs.
We dine out for tubesteaks and grilled meats instead.
5. Shops clear out their spring and summer pieces to make way for fall and winter fashions.
In July — when the low is 94 degrees — we start sweating just thinking about cashmere.
6. It's too hot to go skydiving.
The proposition is scary enough, but battling the heat makes it that much less appealing. We'll wait until we can skydive indoors.
7. Winter weight gain has nothing on summer snacking.
In Texas, we gain summer weight because it's too damn hot to do anything other than eat and sleep.
8. So long, good gas mileage.
We spend more money on gas, because we drive to places we'd normally walk to.
9. We can't walk our dogs because even they prefer to stay indoors.
This wouldn't be so bad, except we have to keep an eye on them to be sure they don't pee in the house.
10. It's not socially acceptable to walk around naked.
Not in Texas — and definitely not in Dallas.