Editor's note: There's so much that's beautiful, funny, smart and informative on the Internet. Problem is, there's also a bunch of garbage. Here's the best of the web right now:
1. The Killers teamed up with Jimmy Kimmel for their annual Christmas song that benefits the (RED) campaign. "Joel, the Lump of Coal" is tongue-in-cheek, but singer Brandon Flowers' earnestness will have you rooting for Joel by the end. It's this generation's Rudolph, for sure.
2. Mental Floss explores how 10 classic foods made their way to America. Ketchup has certainly improved since its early days when it was made of pickled fish brine in China and then as "a muddy goop made from mushrooms or oysters with spices like mustard, nutmeg and cinnamon" in Britain. British people be ruining food, y'all.
3. Stephen Colbert schools all those stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerf herders out there about the hilted lightsaber in the new Star Wars trailer. Colbert is always great when he goes full nerd, and his story about being the OG Star Wars fan is terrific.
4. Cracked looks at five tiny mistakes that became huge PR nightmares for companies. Look at Dallas in the No. 2 spot! Our own Teresa Gubbins was on top of this one from the get-go, if you're hankering for the juicy details about the Banh Shop debacle.
5. Girl Scouts can now sell their cookies online. You'll have to wait until January to buy them, but at least the judging and shame will only be mitigated to the phone call with the fraud department of your bank when you explain that, yes, you did mean to order 30 boxes of Tagalongs.