Coronavirus News

5 socially distanced Dallas no-nos that should maybe never come back

Communal cocktail, may you never return.

Photo courtesy of Guest of a Guest

The coronavirus pandemic has been nothing but a scourge upon us all, a detestable incursion we wish had never happened and hope will be gone ASAP.

Unfortunately, there's no turning back the clock, so we must soldier on, make the best of what we have. Maybe even use the virus to do some good.

Maybe use the virus to scrap some dated traditions. We could stop subsidizing Big Agriculture, maybe head off climate change, maybe trade out a beef burger for an Impossible burger instead.

Here are 5 customs coronavirus is likely to kill and we hope for good:

Birthday blowout
Birthday cakes are a strange tradition to begin with. Have you ever worked in an office where everyone shuts it down for the birthday cake ritual? There are cupcakes in the vending machine for $1, but the free 2-inch square of sugar and shortening has much greater allure.

If the cake itself is a strange tradition, burning candles are weirder. Here, little child, get up close to the fire. Then spew all over the top. And then it's time to eat?

Communion wafers
For Lutherans and Episcopalians and Catholics and anything in between, church includes the taking of the body and blood of Christ — a wafer, bread and wine if you're lucky.

This requires rituals such as getting a wafer handed to you, drinking wine from a shared goblet, even having a priest jam the wafer onto your tongue. Most of these fall outside social distancing rules.

But the wafer and the wine are the highlight.

New tradition: Rum Chata coffee while watching services online in your PJs.

Pity sex
There are varying levels of sex. The most important kind, the essential kind, is for procreation, for the task of making babies. Upstanding citizens everywhere agree.

Beyond procreational sex lies a litany: afternoon sex, sex just for fun, makeup sex, mindless sex, revenge sex, and sex while watching TV. None follow social distancing rules, but each surely has its own set of justifications and quality of essential-ness TBD by the user.

Except pity sex. Urban Dictionary says that pity sex is when girls have sex with guys because they feel bad for them. Girls, guys, this never leads to anything good whether you're talking guilt or unrealistic expectations, and it's a social distancing nightmare.

Hugs
There is almost nothing good about hugs. The word itself is awful. Hugs.

Hugs always seem to involve one perpetrator who thinks a hug is a good idea, inflicting said hug on someone who is less receptive.

Hugs are a fake friendly gesture with an underlying hint of passive aggressive intimidation. "You will like me."

Hugs are about me, not you.

Did you ever get a note from someone who signed it "hugs"? That person is not to be trusted.

Large format cocktails
Also called communal cocktails, also called shared cocktails, they are an oversized, multi-portion cocktail served in a big-ass vessel and designed to be shared with a group.

This germaphobe nightmare from the '80s was just beginning to resurface in the past year or two, sold as a yet another way to show you have friends and are living your good life.

They always require straws and beyond their eco-unfriendliness, is it humanly possible to successfully extract a sip via a straw without leaking even the tiniest bit of backwash into the drink? No.

If coronavirus accomplishes one good thing, it will be the quick and inevitable demise of this spit-fest disguised as a fun party trick.

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Flood Response

New relief fund launches for 2026 Texas Hill Country flood victims

People look out at flood on July 16, 2026 in Center Point, Texas

Photo by Brandon Bell/Getty Images

The same foundation that collected more than $60 million for the 2025 floods has launched a new fund for 2026.

Texans looking to support Hill Country neighbors affected by floods over the past few days can turn to the same organization they did for the July 2025 floods: The Community Foundation of the Hill Country has launched a new Texas Hill Country Flood Relief Fund that is accepting donations now.

The foundation emphasizes that the two funds are distinct (last year's was called the Kerr County Flood Relief Fund), so donors should note that their contributions will specifically go toward Hill Country residents affected by the current floods. The money raised will offer emergency assistance and long-term recovery support.

According to the Associated Press, nearly 1 trillion gallons of water fell on the three hardest-hit Texas counties over three days — enough to fill 1.5 million Olympic-sized swimming pools or supply 11 million homes for a year. First responders rushed to save people trapped in high waters Friday, as more heavy rain widened the danger from floods that have killed at least two people and left hundreds more in need of rescue.

Earlier in the week, Texas Gov. Greg Abbott declared a disaster in 59 counties including Travis to help emergency services respond quickly.

Although many regional businesses, churches, and other groups organized donations for the 2025 floods, the Community Foundation was the main entity holding and distributing funds. The Kerr County Flood Relief Fund totaled more than $60 million by the end of that July.

"Our hearts break that the Texas Hill Country is once again facing catastrophic flooding. Just one year after the devastating July 2025 floods, many of our neighbors are again in harm's way," said Community Foundation of the Texas Hill Country CEO Austin Dickson. "People from across Texas and around the world came together to help Kerr County begin the long road to recovery. As first responders and local and state officials continue their response efforts, the Community Foundation's role is to help ensure communities have the philanthropic resources they need to recover in the weeks, months and years ahead."