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    Let Me Sum Up

    John Cornyn declares his love for the hot new girl — Ted Cruz. Plus: Flow charts!

    Eric Celeste
    Jan 30, 2013 | 9:42 am

    I’ve figured out who Ted Cruz is. He’s Angie.

    Angie transferred to my Tulsa junior high midway through my 8th-grade year. To say the young men of Lewis & Clark were excited would be a tremendous understatement. Word traveled quickly, seemingly instantaneously, that the school had itself a new candidate for Biggest Fox. She wore Jordache Jeans, for heaven’s sake. (If you think that wasn’t a big deal to junior high kids, watch this video.) If Twitter had been a thing, Angie would have trended citywide by second period.

    What made her so special? What made me re-feather my hair hourly as I pursued her?

    Simple: She was the new girl. And the new girl always enthralls horny young boys.

    Or, it turns out, horny old boys. Because that’s exactly what U.S. Sen. John Cornyn is acting like around D.C.’s latest political lothario.

    You saw the latest example of Cornyn and Cruz’s heavy petting, right? During the confirmation hearings for new U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry, the formerly staid Cornyn — high on the illicit thrills that arise from popping Tea Party amyl nitrate — voted “no” alongside his new squeeze.

    The final Senate vote was 94-3, with only Cornyn, Cruz and climate-change-denier/crazy-train-three-way-partner Jim Inhofe voting against Kerry. (Inhofe I know well. He was mayor of Tulsa when I was in said junior high. He is the Dennis Hopper of this Blue Velvet remake.)

    Why did the Texas duo vote against Kerry? Because theirs is a love you can’t understand, a passion for the ages, an affair that may set Washington tongues wagging but will be well understood by their real friends back in Texas.

    Still, for the sake of decorum, the Lone Star legislators tried to keep up appearances. After their Senate floor tryst, the lovebirds gave us their excuses.

    From Cruz:

    I was compelled to vote no on Senator Kerry's nomination because of his longstanding less-than-vigorous defense of U.S. national security issues …”

    Meanwhile, Cornyn could only get his mouth off Cruz’s sweet thin lips long enough to offer that he disapproved of Kerry’s “long history of liberal positions that are not consistent with a majority of Texans.”

    C’mon. We’re not blind over here. We know that’s not the whole truth. For one, the idea that Cruz, a non-serving Canadian, and Cornyn, a non-serving former journalism major, would lecture Kerry on national security is a joke. Not that Kerry could hear their criticism anyway, what with his Silver Star, Bronze Star and three Purple Hearts shoved in his ears.

    For two, even Politico has reported on Cornyn and Cruz, sittin’ in a tree. A wry public acknowledgment of their September-November romance is what this was really about.

    Cruz wants the establishment to know that the silver-haired GILF he’s taken up with demonstrates his willingness to play ball with the GOP establishment. And Cornyn wants the New World Order to believe he’s not ashamed of snuggling with a cocksure Tea Partier in advance of his 2014 re-election bid — when he’ll need that Texas nut-job vote more than ever.

    Cornyn certainly isn’t ashamed of this public display. Why should he be? Ted Cruz is his Angie. He knows that everyone in Texas understands that you’ve got to feather your hair hard and proud if you want to keep the hot new girl.

    Elsewhere

    Fascinating column by Gromer Jeffers Jr., suggesting that some Dallas Dems might try to convince former Dallas County District Judge John Creuzot to run against DA Craig Watkins in 2014. I used to work for Watkins during his 2010 campaign. Get me hammered sometime and I’ll tell you a lot of fun stories.

    But, what I will say is that no one, not even John Wiley Price, polled higher among the base (consultant code for “black voters”) than Craig Watkins. Barring a Watkins meltdown, Creuzot would have to raise a ton of money just to have a shot, and he probably still wouldn't win. FWIW and IJS.

    Did you know the mayor of Irving gives a “state of the city” address? It’s true. My version: “What the hell happened to our mall? Seriously, does it even have an Oak Tree anymore?”

    Hey, it’s Mark Davis being ridiculous! Must be a weekday. (BTW: Military officers have given simple, practical reasons why gays and women be admitted into the military. Get off your Sean Hannity GeoCities forum and read them.)

    Retweets

    Again with the flow charts. He never shuts up about them.

    Have I mentioned how much I love flow charts? Well, here's a great one by the @texastribune on the $10k degree. bit.ly/WzQq2L

    — Brian D. Sweany (@Brian_Sweany) January 30, 2013

    Hey there. You're new. I like your style. What are you doing later?

    unspecified
    news/city-life

    Texas Politics

    Democratic Rep. Jasmine Crockett to run for U.S. Senate in Texas

    Associated Press
    Dec 8, 2025 | 5:04 pm
    Jasmine Crockett
    Jasmine Crockett / Facebook
    Jasmine Crockett

    Democratic Rep. Jasmine Crockett launched a campaign Monday for the U.S. Senate in Texas, bringing a national profile to a race that may be critical to Democrats’ long-shot hopes of reclaiming a Senate majority in next year’s midterm elections.

    Crockett, one of Congress’ most outspoken Democrats and a frequent target of GOP attacks, jumped into the race on the final day of qualifying in Texas. She is seeking the Senate seat held by Republican John Cornyn, who is running for reelection in the GOP-dominated state.

    Democrats need a net gain of four Senate seats to wrest control from Republicans next November, when most of the seats up for reelection are in states like Texas that President Donald Trump won last year. Democrats have long hoped to make Texas more competitive after decades of Republican dominance. Cornyn, first elected to the Senate since 2002, is facing the toughest GOP primary of his career against Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton and U.S. Rep. Wesley Hunt.

    Crockett’s announcement came hours after former Rep. Colin Allred ended his own campaign for the Democratic nomination in favor of attempting a House comeback bid. She faces a March 3 primary against Democratic state Rep. James Talarico, a former teacher with a rising national profile fueled by viral social media posts challenging Republican policies such as private school vouchers and requiring the Ten Commandments in classrooms.

    “It’s going to be a sprint from now until the primary, but in Texas you have to think about the voter base overall in November, too,” said Kamau Marshall, a Democratic consultant who has worked for Allred before and worked on other campaigns in Texas. “Who can do the work on the ground? After the primary, who can win in the general?"

    Crockett's style
    Talarico raised almost $6.3 million in the three weeks after he formally organized his primary campaign committee in September and had nearly $5 million in cash on hand at the end of the month, campaign finance reports showed. Crockett raised about $2.7 million for her House campaign fund from July through September and ended September with $4.6 million.

    Crockett could test Democratic voters’ appetite for a blunt communicator who is eager to take on Republicans as Democrats pursue their first statewide victory in Texas since 1994. She did not issue a statement ahead of a formal announcement of her candidacy Monday afternoon in Dallas.

    Republicans were quick Monday to try to turn Crockett's penchant for public clashes with opponents into liabilities. Paxton called her “Crazy Crockett,” and Cornyn described her as “radical, theatrical and ineffective.”

    Talarico welcomed Crockett to the Democratic primary but pointed to his fundraising and said he has 10,000 volunteers.

    “Our movement is rooted in unity over division,” he said in a statement.

    Democrats see their best opportunity to pick up the Texas seat if Paxton wins the Republican nomination because he has been shadowed for much of his career by legal and personal issues. Yet Paxton is popular with Trump’s most ardent supporters.
    Hunt, who has served two terms representing a Houston-area district, defied GOP leaders by entering the GOP race.

    Viral moments
    Crockett, a civil rights attorney serving her second House term, built her national profile with a candid style and viral moments on Capitol Hill. Trump has noticed and called her a “low IQ person.” In response, Crockett said she would agree to take an IQ test against the president.

    She traded insults with Republican Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia, who announced last month that she would resign in January, and had heated exchanges with Rep. Nancy Mace of South Carolina.

    She also mocked Republican Texas Gov. Greg Abbott — who uses a wheelchair — as “Gov. Hot Wheels.” She later said she was referring to Abbott’s policy of using “planes, trains and automobiles” to send thousands of immigrants in Texas illegally to Democratic-led cities.

    Democrats' best showing in a statewide race in the past three decades was in 2018, when former U.S. Rep. Beto O’Rourke came within 3 points of ousting Republican Sen. Ted Cruz. It was the midterm election of Trump’s first administration, and Democrats believe next year’s race could be similarly favorable to their party.

    A former professional football player and civil rights attorney, Allred was among Democrats’ star recruits in 2018.

    Allred lost to Cruz by 8.5 points last year. He is running for the House in a Dallas-Fort Worth area district under a new map approved this year by the GOP-controlled Texas Legislature to meet Trump's call for more winnable Republican seats. The district has some areas Allred represented for six years before his run for the Senate in 2024.

    Primary election
    An internal party battle, Allred said, “would prevent the Democratic Party from going into this critical election unified against the danger posed to our communities and our Constitution by Donald Trump and one of his Republican bootlickers.”

    Marshall said Crockett is a “solid national figure” who has a large social media following and is a frequent presence on cable news. That could be an advantage with Democratic primary voters, Marshall said, but not necessarily afterward.

    Talarico, meanwhile, must raise money and build name recognition to make the leap from the Texas House of Representatives to a strong statewide candidacy, Marshall said.

    A winning Democratic candidate in Texas, Marshall said, would have to energize Black voters, mainly in metro Houston and Dallas, win the kind of diverse suburbs and exurbs like those Allred once represented in Congress, and get enough rural votes, especially among Latinos in the Rio Grande Valley.

    “It’s about building complicated coalitions in a big state," Marshall said.

    electionpolitics
    news/city-life
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