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    This Is Not a Drill

    One man's pipe dream turns into epic party reality with Vanilla Ice and Coolio

    Claire St. Amant
    Dec 9, 2013 | 4:23 pm

    If you cracked open Jared Guynes' head with a hammer, you'd find Vanilla Ice, the Teenage Mutant Turtles and Coolio, among other ’90s superstars. Or at least that's what Guynes says when asked about his motivation behind Jared's Epic Party, which just got fully crowd-funded for a cool $35,000.

    The February 22 party at Gilley's in Dallas started out as a pipe dream for Guynes' 30th birthday. But that dream quickly became an absurd reality of ’90s pop culture. The current lineup includes Vanilla Ice, Coolio, the Ninja Turtles, the Delorean Time Machine and the Ghost Busters van.

    "I decided I better not call it my birthday party. That's a real douchebag move," says party starter Jared Guynes.

    Guynes never doubted his crowd-funded party would happen; he was willing to sell off his own possessions to meet the goal. Thankfully, it never came to that.

    '"It's exciting because it's a ridiculous idea, and the people have willed it to be possible," Guynes says. "I knew in my heart it was going to happen. I believed it from the very beginning."

    The very beginning dates back to November 16, when Guynes decided to pull the trigger and rebrand his 30th birthday party as an epic party for the people. "I decided I better not call it my birthday party. That's a real douchebag move."

    Although the February 22 party date will fall on Guynes' day of birth, he won't have a cake or ask people to bring presents. In fact, he insists he's not making a dime off the campaign, which is barreling toward an ambitious $40,000.

    Guynes says he can put on the whole thing for $35,000. But if he gets at least $40,000, he'll offer free drinks and food and bring in Sir Mix-A-Lot of "Baby Got Back" fame.

    "My vow is that I'm not making any money off of this," Guynes says. "My wife is so annoyed because we have student loans and debts like anyone else. But I would be a douchecanoe if I took everyone's money and paid my bills with it."

    He's also asking attendees to bring Nerf guns in an attempt to break the Guinness World Record for largest Nerf gun battle. After the bout, all the toy guns will be donated to local children's charities.

    The campaign will continue to collect donations via Crowdtilt until midnight on December 15. Anyone who contributes $55 will get a guaranteed ticket to the show, which could sell out at any minute. "You snooze, you lose," Guynes says. "It's going to be bonkers."

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    This Week's Hot Headlines

    Dallas neighbor named No. 1 affordable place to live and more top stories

    CultureMap Staff
    May 17, 2025 | 10:00 am
    Downtown McKinney
    Photo courtesy of City of McKinney
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    Editor's note: The top Dallas news of the week kicks off with a new ranking of affordable places to live. Plus, where to drink in Dallas right now and a big celebrity visit that's on the horizon. Catch up on our five most popular Dallas stories below, and then plan some weekend fun via this guide.

    1. North Dallas neighbor ranks as No. 1 most affordable city in U.S. A Dallas suburb has landed on top of a new list of the most affordable places to live. McKinney ranked No. 1 based on its relative cost of living and high median household income.

    2. 2 Dallas steakhouses proclaimed among the best in the world. Two Dallas steakhouses have been honored in a new global ranking of the 101 Best Steakhouses in the World: Nuri Steakhouse and Knife.

    3. Where to drink in Dallas right now: 5 happy hours and specials for May. There's a little twist in this installment of Where to Drink. In addition to a new menu and plenty of cocktails, the list includes an interesting new (non-alcoholic) milkshake happy hour.

    ApothecaryApothecary has a new menu as part of its "Drinking through the Decades" series.Photo courtesy of Apothecary

    4. Mom-and-pop Asian chain from Austin makes Dallas debut in McKinney. A small Asian chain from Austin has entered the Dallas market. Fire Bowl Cafe has opened its first DFW location in McKinney.

    5. Tom Cruise to make Dallas BBQ stop while on Mission Impossible tour. Hollywood legend Tom Cruise is coming to Dallas to eat barbecue, while on a quick Texas tour to promote the latest chapter of his smash film franchise Mission Impossible.

    most popular storiessteakhouserankingsmost affordablemckinneywhere to drinktom cruisecelebrityhot-headlines
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