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    Movie Review

    Rose Byrne plays one stressed-out mom in If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

    Alex Bentley
    Oct 24, 2025 | 4:24 pm
    Conan O'Brien and Rose Byrne in If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

    Conan O'Brien and Rose Byrne in If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

    Photo courtesy of A24

    Movie history is littered with depictions of stressed-out mothers who have breakdowns due to the pressure put on them by their children, spouses, or society in general. Recent examples include Hereditary, Tully, and Nightbitch, with each of them finding different ways to depict their main character’s struggles. Yet another put-upon mother goes through the wringer in the oddly-named If I Had Legs I’d Kick You.

    When we meet Linda (Rose Byrne), she’s already in the middle of a huge ball of stress. Her daughter (Delaney Quinn) suffers from an unnamed illness that requires around-the-clock care and frequent doctor visitors. Her husband, Charles (Christian Slater), is a boat captain whose job keeps him away from home for long periods of time. And her job as a therapist requires her to hear other people’s problems, necessitating her seeing a fellow therapist (Conan O’Brien) on a daily basis.

    Nearly everyone else she encounters in the movie adds to her anxiety, including Caroline (Danielle Macdonald), a new mother who’s constantly worried about her baby; Dr. Spring (Mary Bronstein), who constantly harps on Linda to get her daughter to eat; an officious parking attendant at the hospital; and a sneering desk clerk at the motel she and her daughter are forced to stay at after a plumbing disaster at home. Consequently, she dismisses James (A$AP Rocky), another motel worker, the one person who treats her with a modicum of kindness.

    Written and directed by Bronstein, the film is a harrowing experience that somehow also manages to be darkly funny at times. Linda is dealing with way too much for one person to adequately handle, something that is compounded by the fact that nobody really listens to her, not even the therapist she’s paying to do so. Scenes bounce back and forth between Linda demonstrating righteous anger at what the world is throwing at her and crushing guilt over supposedly not doing enough for her child.

    Bronstein depicts Linda’s journey in a number of interesting ways, some straightforward and others not so much. Bronstein makes liberal use of close-ups on Linda’s face, heightening the feeling that the world is closing in on her. The plumbing problem at her home results in a huge hole in the ceiling, which becomes the source of some unexplained phenomena, a choice that might have been unnecessary.

    What’s most striking about the film is how hardly anyone is on Linda’s side. Since the film joins the story as it’s already in progress, the audience is left to guess as to how Linda has behaved in the past to garner such negative interactions from people who should be helping her. While she’s not a perfect person, she also doesn’t appear to be such a jerk that she should be treated with disdain everywhere she goes.

    Byrne, who’s gravitated toward lighter roles in recent years, is an absolute marvel in this part. The more stress Linda feels, the more she becomes disheveled, and Byrne makes you feel every ounce of the character’s pain. O’Brien, who’s rarely had to play anyone but “Conan O’Brien” before, is surprisingly good, tamping down his comic sensibility to complement Byrne well. A$AP Rocky also makes a nice impression, elevating a character that’s a little underwritten.

    The role of a mom is never an easy one, and that’s in the best of circumstances. If I Had Legs I’d Kick You - a title that is never explained yet still somehow fits - earns its stripes by demonstrating how the often thankless job of motherhood can become even more distressing when the mom in question is given little to no support.

    ---

    If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is now playing in select theaters.

    moviesfilm
    news/entertainment

    Concert News

    Texas rap star Don Toliver rolls into Dallas on high octane new tour

    Eric Sandler
    Feb 6, 2026 | 3:35 pm
    Don Toliver Octane Tour
    Courtesy of Don Toliver
    Don Toliver will perform at the Toyota Center on Thursday, May 14.

    Texas rapper Don Toliver head to Dallas for a show at the American Airlines Center on June 13.

    The new concert is part of Toliver’s Octane Tour, a 30-city run through North America that begins in Orlando on May 8 and concludes in Denver on July 5. In addition to Dallas, the rapper will perform in his hometown of Houston on May 14 and San Antonio on June 14.

    He’ll be joined on all three Texas dates by by SahBabii, SoFaygo, and Chase B.

    Toliver is touring in support of Octane, his fifth studio album that was released last month and debuted at No. 1 on both Spotify and Apple Music. Recorded during Toliver’s European tour and at sessions in California, Octane is inspired by Toliver’s love of cars and rally racing culture, according to press materials.

    A Houston native, Toliver is also known for tracks such as certified platinum singles “No Pole” and “Private Landing” featuring Justin Bieber, along with multi-platinum hits including “No Idea,” “After Party,” “Lemonade,” and “Bandit.”

    Along with the tour announcement, Toliver has unveiled the video for Rendezvous, a track he recorded with Yeat.

    Tickets are on sale to the general public as of Friday, February 6 at LiveNation.com.

    Various VIP packages are also available, including early entry and access to a pre-show VIP lounge. Find those details at vipnation.com.

    Octane 2026 Tour Dates

    Fri May 8 – Orlando, FL @ Rolling Loud*^#
    Tue May 12 – Tulsa, OK @ BOK Center*^+
    Thu May 14 – Houston, TX @ Toyota Center*^+
    Sun May 17 – Columbia, SC @ Colonial Life Arena*^+
    Tue May 19 – Atlanta, GA @ State Farm Arena*^+
    Thu May 21 – Charlotte, NC @ Spectrum Center*^+
    Sat May 23 – Pittsburgh, PA @ PPG Paints Arena*^+
    Sun May 24 – Philadelphia, PA @ Xfinity Mobile Arena*^+
    Tue May 26 – Belmont Park, NY @ UBS Arena*^+
    Wed May 27 – Newark, NJ @ Prudential Center*^+
    Fri May 29 – Hartford, CT @ PeoplesBank Arena*^+
    Sat May 30 – Boston, MA @ TD Garden*^+
    Mon Jun 01 – New York, NY @ Madison Square Garden*^+
    Tue Jun 02 – Baltimore, MD @ CFG Bank Arena*^+
    Thu Jun 04 – Detroit, MI @ Little Caesars Arena*^+
    Fri Jun 05 – Toronto, ON @ Scotiabank Arena*^+
    Sun Jun 07 – Montreal, QC @ Bell Centre*^+
    Tue Jun 09 – Columbus, OH @ Nationwide Arena*^+
    Thu Jun 11 – Chicago, IL @ United Center*^+
    Sat Jun 13 – Dallas, TX @ American Airlines Center*^+
    Sun Jun 14 – San Antonio, TX @ Frost Bank Center*^+
    Wed Jun 17 – Kansas City, MO @ T-Mobile Center*^+
    Fri Jun 19 – Milwaukee, WI @ Milwaukee Summerfest*^+#
    Sat Jun 20 – Minneapolis, MN @ Target Center*^+
    Wed Jun 24 – Seattle, WA @ Climate Pledge Arena*^+
    Thu Jun 25 – Vancouver, BC @ Rogers Arena*^+
    Sat Jun 27 – Oakland, CA @ Oakland Arena*^+
    Mon Jun 29 – Los Angeles, CA @ Crypto.com Arena*^+
    Tue Jun 30 – San Diego, CA @ Pechanga Arena San Diego*^+
    Wed Jul 01 – Phoenix, AZ @ Mortgage Matchup Center*^+
    Fri Jul 03 – Las Vegas, NV @ MGM Grand Garden Arena*^+
    Sun Jul 05 – Denver, CO @ Ball Arena*^+

    *with SahBabii
    ^with SoFaygo
    +with CHASE B
    # Festival Headline

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