Drinking for the Holidays
It's the most wonderful time of the year for drinking as daylight saving timeends
Holiday season is officially upon us. Thanksgiving is a mere three weeks away from putting you in a house with multiple relatives who may or may not be super happy with the election results and would rather talk about it instead of watching the Cowboys and slowly dying from too much gravy and stuffing.
But there’s another upcoming holiday — and it’s the simplest holiday of all. It requires no costumes, gift giving or meal planning. People, daylight saving time is ending Sunday, November 4, at 2 am.
On Saturday night, right as the clock moves from 1:59:59 to the next second, it goes back to 1 am, and you just got another hour of drinking at the bar.
Yeah, it’s going to get darker earlier, but there’s something bigger going on here. Namely, the fact that on Saturday night, right as the clock moves from 1:59:59 to the next second, it magically goes back to 1 am.
Boom. You just got another hour of drinking at the bar. You’re now drinking to what your body thinks is 3 am. It’s a whole extra hour for Irish car bombs and tequila shots and terrible attempts at talking to someone out of your league.
It is literally the best night of the year. I’m barely concentrating right now; I’m that excited.
I hear some of you out there. “Can’t you just go to the bars an hour earlier on any other weekend and get the same effect?” “Isn’t drinking until 3 am going to negatively affect your flag football game on Sunday?” “Why did you send us a ‘Merry End of Daylight Saving Time’ card with a picture of a bottle of Maker’s Mark on it?”
One, no, it’s not the same thing — overtime is always more exciting than the pre-game warm-up. Two, I was first team All-State, so I can put the ball wherever I want. Third, when you send me a family card for Halloween, that means you get equally stupid cards on my favorite holiday.
Merry end of daylight saving time. *Drops mic, picks up schooner of beer*