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    Ewings Go Boom

    Oil rigs blow up and people fall down in post-J.R. era of Dallas

    Elaine Liner
    Mar 18, 2013 | 10:59 pm

    So begins the post-J.R. era of Dallas on TNT. This week’s episode, “Ewings United!,” written by Bruce Rasmussen and directed by Steve Robin, had plots and characters tripping all over each other. Watch those stairs! Get off that oil platform!

    Too briefly we got a glimpse of Charlene Tilton as Lucy, delivering her mother, Valene “I’m only visiting from Knots Landing” Ewing, played by Joan Van Ark, to Southfork. We also got the reading of J.R.’s will. Seems Miss Ellie, the late Ewing matriarch (played way back when by the great Barbara Bel Geddes and then briefly by Donna Reed), left special instructions to grant half of Southfork to grandson John Ross (Josh Henderson) in the event of J.R.’s death.

    With that, Bobby Ewing (Patrick Duffy) lost his control of the sub-Southfork oil well. “We can turn the oil back on,” Bobby announced wearily to his son and nephew. He made it sound so easy.

    Judith Ryland (Judith Light) fell or was pushed down the stairs. If they kill her off, the show will be short one potentially awesome villain.

    Other highlights (watch your step):

    Major smooch-fu: Turning the oil back on must have turned John Ross’ libido back on. J.R.’s son got busy on his daddy’s bed with young Emma, Bobby’s wife Annie’s long-lost daughter (played by Emma Bell). Then he got a second wind for a night of hot pash with flame-haired city official Allison Jones (Annie Wersching). But John Ross was only setting Allison up for blackmail so she’d award him a city methane contract. That’s how those things are done here, right?

    J.R.’s bequests: The old scamp left his boot collection to brother Bobby; his prize bottle of Scotch to brother Gary (a recovering alcoholic); and a copy of Machiavelli’s The Prince to nephew Christopher, with the note that “being smart and sneaky is an unbeatable combination.” His favorite dove-hunting gun went to Annie (Brenda Strong, who had so little to do this week, she didn’t have time to shed any tears).

    On location: On an impromptu date, Emma and bad-boy Drew Ramos (Kuno Becker) ate food truck tacos in Klyde Warren Park.

    On a bender: Sue Ellen (Linda Gray) is back on the sauce, and brother-in-law Gary (Ted Shackelford) tried and failed to get her back on the program of recovery. She said she appreciated his concern and then turned around and called his estranged wife, Valene, to come get him, even though that marriage, unlike Sue Ellen’s favorite cocktail, is on the rocks.

    Best dialogue this week: “Once a bitch, always a bitch,” snarled Valene to Sue Ellen. “Yes, it has been a long time,” answered Sue Ellen. That had better not be all we’re going to see of the deliciously simpering Valene. She’d be an excellent foil for Sue Ellen, whose cool nastiness is amplified by booze.

    WTF moment No. 1: After barking at her son Harris that he had disappointed her yet again, monster-mom Judith Ryland (Judith Light) fell or was pushed down the stairs of the Ryland manse. If they kill her off, the show will be short one potentially awesome villain.

    WTF moment No. 2: This reboot of the series has busted the mythology of the original a few times already, but this week really had Twitter tittering with the mention of the original Pamela Barnes Ewing (Victoria Principal) being alive and her sister Katherine Wentworth being dead.

    In the original series, Katherine, always alive, was played by the gorgeous Morgan Brittany. Now writing conservative political columns online, Brittany has expressed interest in returning to Dallas. Principal, whose character died in a fiery car crash back in the 1980s, has said she would not.

    Now with the show hinting that Bobby’s son Christopher is searching for his birth mom, Pamela, could they slip Brittany into that role? Dallas likes to mess around with the living and dead. Remember the “dream season”?

    WTF moment No. 3: With a bomb planted on the Ewing Energies oil rig at the behest of Ewing enemy Cliff Barnes (Ken Kercheval), he was notified that his pregnant daughter (Julie Gonzalo) was on the platform along with Bobby, Christopher (Jesse Metcalf), Elena (Jordana Brewster) and other Ewings. Cliff gave the order to blow it up anyway, and the screen faded to black.

    Coming up: Previews show that Bobby and Christopher survive the explosion. But who else did? Is this Ewing Energies’ BP oil spill disaster?

    ---

    New episodes of Dallas air at 8 pm Mondays on cable’s TNT, with frequent reruns.

    The Ewings in hard hats don't know they're standing on a ticking time bomb.

      
    Photo courtesy of TNT
    The Ewings in hard hats don't know they're standing on a ticking time bomb.
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    Movie Review

    Film sequel Jurassic World Rebirth: stillborn is more like it

    Alex Bentley
    Jul 2, 2025 | 11:49 am
    Scarlett Johannson in Jurassic World Rebirth
    Photo by Jasin Boland/Universal Pictures and Amblin Entertainment
    Scarlett Johannson in Jurassic World Rebirth.

    Given how successful the Jurassic Park / Jurassic World franchise has been at the box office, it’s no surprise that Universal Pictures will find any excuse to keep the gravy train rolling. So here comes Jurassic World Rebirth, a film with all new characters that only has a tangential relationship to the stories that have come before.

    And, man, does it have a lot of characters. Leading the way is Zora Bennett (Scarlett Johannson), a woman who is known for being able to procure hard-to-get things. She’s hired by Martin Krebs (Rupert Friend), who works for a medical company looking to get blood samples from giant dinosaurs to make a life-saving heart medicine. Naturally, they need a dinosaur expert, which they find in Dr. Henry Loomis (Jonathan Bailey), whose work at a natural history museum is coming to an end as the public seems to be growing tired of dinosaurs, five years after the events of Jurassic World Dominion.

    The dinosaurs they need can be found off the coast of Suriname, a subtropical environment that is one of the only hospitable areas left for the creatures. There Zora recruits boat captain Duncan Kincaid (Mahershala Ali), who comes with a crew of three mostly anonymous people. And for good measure, Reuben Delgado (Manuel Garcia-Rulfo) happens to be sailing nearby in the middle of an ocean voyage with his two daughters and his older daughter’s extremely lazy boyfriend.

    Given the recent pedigree of director Gareth Edwards (The Creator, Rogue One) and original Jurassic Park writer David Koepp (returning to the franchise for the first time since 1997’s The Lost World), the film should be an unmitigated success. Instead, the filmmakers and their team stumble blindly through any kind of character development. The fact that they’re trying to introduce no fewer than 11 different people should be a big flashing red light, but still they persist.

    Instead of making us care whether the people in the film live or die (spoiler alert: A lot of them die), Edwards and Koepp seem to lay all of their hopes on audiences being satisfied with yet-more dino mayhem. But dinosaurs rampaging or chomping people in half only works if the human component is compelling, which it is not. They try to gloss over this by having the characters encounter experimental cross-bred creatures, a story device that makes an impact with a monstrous one in the final act, but otherwise fails to land.

    The film also yada-yadas a lot of the plot points, including how Krebs’ company knows they need the blood of these particular dinosaurs when they’ve never had it before. They reference events from previous films in oblique ways, but they run into the same issue every Jurassic World film has had: Not being able to properly explain the main premise of their story, given that previous events should have stopped them from ever happening.

    Any film with an Oscar winner (Ali) and nominee (Johannson) at the top should be one worth watching, but it almost feels like neither actor knew what kind of film they were actually making. They each get by on charm, but even they can’t sell the nonsense they’re asked to say. Bailey, who played Fiyero in Wicked, is given a weird nothing part, while Friend plays the villain with little verve. We hardly get to know anyone else, but Audrina Miranda, who plays the youngest daughter on the sailboat, is super-cute and gets a couple of decent emotional moments.

    As with the Marvel movies, there is bound to come a time when the general moviegoing public gets tired of being served mediocre Jurassic movies. If any of the franchise’s movies deserves to be the stopping point, it’s this one, with a non-starter of a story and little to get excited about when it comes to the dinosaurs.

    ---

    Jurassic World Rebirth opens in theaters on July 2.

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