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    Sharp knives at Southfork

    Dallas season 2 opens big as Texas, with blackmail, boohooing and great hair

    Elaine Liner
    Jan 29, 2013 | 12:35 am

    Blackmail, bribes, money laundering, late-night swims, fixed oil platforms, shots of Highland Park Village, Sue Ellen swilling Pinot Grigio (almost) and a secret baby misplaced at the State Fair of Texas. Yeehaw, Dallas is back on TNT for a second season of the series reboot.

    In its two-hour opener, we got a gusher of new characters, new identities for old characters and hints about how the show will deal with the death of its star, Larry Hagman, and his character, J.R. Ewing. Hagman will appear in seven episodes, leading up to a funeral scene set for episode No. 8.

    Larry Hagman will appear in seven episodes, leading up to a funeral scene set for episode No. 8.

    Last night’s major plot pretzels were enough to make us thirsty for whatever Sue Ellen’s having.

    Christopher’s sham marriage last season to “Rebecca Sutter” (Julie Gonzalo) was headed for annulment until the runaway bride hopped off a helicopter and announced she’s really Pamela Rebecca Barnes, daughter of Cliff Barnes, the longtime Ewing nemesis (played by Ken Kercheval, who live-Tweeted during the show).

    No way she’ll walk away from her marriage to Christopher without a share of his new company, Ewing Energies. Also, she’s preggers with his twins. They will have to go to court to fight it out.

    Bobby Ewing’s wife, Ann (Brenda Strong, who, if you recall, was “Sue Ellen” on Seinfeld), was informed by her creepy ex-husband, Ryland Harris (played by the great bald X-Files actor Mitch Pileggi), that he knew the whereabouts of their missing 22-year-old daughter, Emma Brown (Emma Bell of The Walking Dead). Seems in 1991, baby Emma was snatched from her stroller on the midway at the State Fair and never seen again. (Hope that Fletcher’s corndog was worth it, Ann.)

    Weepy Ann had to break the news to Bobby, who promised to get her daughter back for her. You’d think the topic might have come up at some point in their marriage. Man, that Ann can keep a secret.

    Got a feeling Judith Light’s Judith will send Brenda Strong’s Ann on many a crying jag this season.

    When Bobby goes to Harris’ mansion to find out more about now-grown Emma, he discovers Judith Brown Harris (Emmy and Tony winner Judith Light, wearing a Cruella de Vil collar), who admits she had her granddaughter “rescued” in the fairground abduction and then raised her “secretly” in Europe. Got a feeling Judith’s Judith will send Ann on many a crying jag this season.

    “This is about methane,” said Christopher (Jesse Metcalf) during a board room sit-down with J.R.; Bobby (Patrick Duffy, whose eyebrows are approaching Hagman-ian thickness); J.R.’s boy John Ross (Josh Henderson); and Christopher’s business partner and squeeze, Elena (Jordana Brewster, so thin Christopher must need a bookmark to find her in bed). Too much dialogue in both episodes this week was dedicated to “high-density methane pockets under the seabed” and “extraction technology.”

    Isn’t it cute how the writers think we’re interested in that stuff? All the talk of alternative energies is Dallas’ version of Downton Abbey’s Bates plotline. Every time Elena says “vertical integration,” we choose to think of it as her sexy pet name for Christopher.

    Sue Ellen Ewing (Linda Gray, better now than she was back then) had to drop out of the governor’s race last season when her opponent accused her campaign of money laundering. This week J.R. put on his white hat and danced a little sidestep to get the charges against his ex-wife dropped.

    Every time Elena says “vertical integration,” we choose to think of it as her sexy pet name for Christopher.

    He showed up on the fairway to deliver to the prosecutor (J.R. called him “that twit”) some naughty photos of a certain back nine orgy. Case dismissed. J.R. celebrated by dropping in on Sue Ellen in a deliciously twinkly scene between the two veteran actors. He complimented her sobriety; she told him “behave yourself.”

    Golly, how they must miss him in that cast. We already do.

    Best lines this week: “Love is for pussies,” uttered by John Ross after he bedded the daughter of the man whose trucking fleet he wanted to buy. And “Makes you wanna punch sump’n, doesn’t it?” J.R. to John Ross as they peered out the window of Southfork at Christopher lip-locked with Elena in the driveway. (Episode 1 was written by Cynthia Cidre and Robert L. Rovner; part 2 was by Aaron Allen.)

    Best obvious sexual metaphor: The cut to a shot of a moving train blowing its whistle right after shirtless John Ross fell lips first on top of Pamela Rebecca Barnes, thus launching another internecine affair between the feuding families.

    Best North Texas drought relief: Brenda Strong’s character Ann boohooing buckets through both of this week’s episodes.

    Best whisper acting: Patrick Duffy, a shoo-in for the Whisper Acting Hall of Fame.

    Best hair: Josh Henderson’s swoopy front wave, which is so smooth and lacquered it looks like buttercream frosting (with highlights!).

    Locals with face time: Dallas Theater Center acting company member Liz Mikel as Judge Rhonda Mason, presiding over Christopher’s annulment hearing. Artist Kevin Page as the bum in the train yard. Character actor and motivational speaker Glenn Morshower as “Lou," part of Bobby Ewing's legal team.

    Funniest unintended joke: Ann Ewing is assured that Emma Brown is her long-lost daughter because the investigators “sent the DNA over to an SMU lab for testing.”

    Coming up: John Ross and Pamela Rebecca try to out-face-suck Christopher and Elena. J.R. disappears, leading to a “What happened to J.R.?” mystery that will bring Ray Krebbs (Steve Kanaly) and Lucy Ewing (Charlene Tilton) back for cameos.

    If only the producers of this Dallas would purchase however many tankers full of infomercial face cream it would take to get Victoria Principal back as Pam Ewing. Please, please, please.

    They must miss Larry Hagman in that cast. We already do.

      
    Photo courtesy of TNT
    They must miss Larry Hagman in that cast. We already do.
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    news/entertainment

    park news

    Dallas-area parks top the list for best Texas parks in 2025

    Amber Heckler
    May 21, 2025 | 10:51 am
    Frisco park
    Play Frisco - Parks & Recreation/Facebook
    Frisco made its debut in the 2025 Parkscore Index report.

    More bragging rights for Plano as a desirable place to live: The city has the No. 1 best park system in Texas this year, a new report says. Dallas and Frisco aren't far behind.

    So says the Trust for Public Land's 2025 ParkScore report, which annually rates park systems in 100 of the largest American cities based on accessibility, equity, acreage, investment, and amenities.

    Plano has maintained its place atop the rankings in Texas for several years. The city ranked 17th nationally after ranking 16th for the last two years, and earning No. 15 in 2021 and 2022.

    Most Plano residents (81 percent) live within a 10-minute walk of a park in the city, which is more than the national median (76 percent). Within the city limits, 10.4 percent of the area is dedicated to parkland. The city spends $198 per resident on its acclaimed park system, compared to the national median $133 per resident.

    Dallas' parks moved up four spots from last year to claim No. 34 nationally and No. 2 statewide. The report says this marks five years of improvement for Dallas, in part thanks to community efforts and organizations.

    "Dallas’ recent rise in park access is due largely to initiatives like the Cool School Community Parks program, which opens school playgrounds and other school-based facilities to community use after school hours, and programs like the Dallas Greening Initiative to transform vacant lots into neighborhood greenspaces across the city," the report said.

    The upcoming opening of the Judge Charles R. Rose Park on June 7 will also increase accessibility for other Dallas residents.

    Judge Charles R. Rose Community ParkThe Judge Charles R. Rose Community Park will span 40 acres of land.Photo courtesy of Trust For Public Land

    Frisco makes its Parkscore Index debut this year, coming in at No. 3 in Texas and No. 37 nationwide. A majority (70 percent) of residents living within a 10-minute walk of a park in the city, the report says. About five percent of the entire Frisco area is reserved for parkland, and the city spends $258 per resident to maintain its park system.

    "We’re seeing inspiring momentum across the Dallas metroplex, and it reflects what we at Trust for Public Land believe at our core: everyone deserves access to the healing, unifying power of the outdoors," said Molly Morgan, Texas State Director of the Trust for Public Land. "When we invest in parks — especially in neighborhoods that have long gone without — we’re investing in healthier families, stronger communities, and a deeper sense of belonging."

    Elsewhere across the Metroplex, Fort Worth rose through the ranks to claim No. 72 nationally this year, previously landing in the No. 91 spot in 2024. The city has put a big focus on park investment, increasing funding by nearly 50 percent over the last five years, and the report says there are over 80 ongoing park construction projects.

    Arlington moved up one spot as No. 46 nationwide, and Garland moved up seven spots as No. 67. Irving maintained its rank as No. 99 for the second year in a row.

    Here's how other Texas parks ranked nationally in 2025 in comparison to 2024:

    • No. 54 – Austin, down from No. 44 last year
    • No. 57 – San Antonio, down from No. 53 last year
    • No. 66 – Houston, up from No. 68 last year
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