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5 places in Dallas that Donald Trump can score some hydroxychloroquine

5 places in Dallas that Donald Trump can score some hydroxychloroquine

Donald Trump hat
Donald Trump is in town for a fundraiser, among other things. Photo via nydailynews.com

UPDATE 6-15-2020: The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has pulled its authorization for hydroxychloroquine, the malaria drug promoted by President Donald Trump, as a treatment for the coronavirus. The FDA says the decision is based on new evidence that drugs like hydroxychloroquine and chloroquine are not effective in diagnosing, treating, or preventing COVID-19, and said the drugs pose a greater risk to patients than any potential benefits.

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President Donald Trump is in Dallas on June 11 on a fundraising stop, hoping to generate at least $10 million in his now very tight race with Democratic candidate Joe Biden.

Trump has a busy day. He'll attend an afternoon discussion at the Gateway Church, attended by religious leaders, law enforcement officials, and Governor Greg Abbott. (According to CBS DFW, Dallas Mayor Eric Johnson was invited to attend, but "politely declined" because of prior commitments. Oh, there's some shade.)

The fundraiser takes place at a private home, where up to 25 couples are paying the very un-round number of $580,600 to attend. A variety of theories have circulated about who and where the private home will be, from the Crespi estate to the home of waterpark-building dentist Richard Malouf. Suffice it to say that Preston Hollow will be locked down tight tonight. [UPDATE: The fundraiser is hosted by billionaire Kelcy Warren, whose company built the controversial Dakota Access oil pipeline, according to Bloomberg News.]

Those who attend will be tested for COVID-19 before they're let in.

Is it any coincidence that Trump arrives in Dallas one week after an Arkansas woman who has COVID-19 came to Dallas specifically for hydroxychloroquine treatments?

Ms. Evelyn Piechocki told KSFM-TV she was forced to come to Dallas because she was denied the drug in Fort Smith, where she was told she was not sick enough to get it. No problem: Dallas physician Dr. Ivette Lonzano gave her the medication, and Evelyn proclaimed she felt better after one day. She had to come to Dallas for that.

Trump is well known for his endorsement of hydroxychloroquine, which is a surprise, given its questionable efficacy as a coronavirus cure. Is it possible he is having the same trouble getting a supply as Evelyn Piechocki?

Here are 5 places the President can score some hydroxy:

Tyler. Really, any town in East Texas. Whether it's meth, oxycontin, or a fentanyl lollipop, if you are in the market for a hillbilly buzz, East Texas has got you.

A restaurant kitchen. Working in the restaurant industry is an awesome thing. It's easy to make friends, you get lots of exercise, and you get to be part of the magic of making people happy. It's a fun party environment — and to that end, you can pretty much always find someone who has weed or whatever you need.

SuperTarget. This chain is a department store-and-supermarket in one, and their shelves are well stocked. To wit: They sell not only Oreos but also Hydrox.

Oh wait, those are cookies.

Salon a La Mode. This is the infamous salon owned by Shelley Luther, who in May defied a stay-at-home order and was thrown in jail, until she was freed thanks to an intervention from the governor and the Supreme Court of Texas.

Her case not only drew a visit from Sarah Palin, it also caught Trump's attention; he called her "incredible." Surely she owes him one.

CVS. Huh. It turns out that hydroxychloroquine can actually be obtained at any pharmacy.