Real Housewives Recap

Real Housewives of Dallas season 2 premieres with new socialites and less charity

Real Housewives of Dallas airs Monday nights on Bravo.

Photo courtesy of Bravo Media

“It’s not all about charity in Dallas,” says new housewife Kameron Wescott in a preview for season two of the Real Housewives of Dallas.

If you caught season one of the awkwardly contrived reality show, you’ll recall that much of the drama revolved around the charity world and proper decorum at charity events and who among the housewives is actually charitable. It all got to be a bit much, particularly as “charity” in Real Housewives Land generally means throwing big parties and judging attendees based upon their clothing and behavior. The first season of the Real Housewives of Dallas was seriously lacking in drama that didn’t revolve around fake feces on giant hats.

But here we are at season two, and joining returning housewives Brandi Redmond, Stephanie Hollman, Cary Deuber, and LeeAnne Locken are Kameron Wescott and D’Andra Simmons. Based on the previews, it looks like round two will focus much less on charity work and much more on interpersonal drama.

So let’s dive in with the new taglines, shall we?

Brandi: “I cheered for the Cowboys, so I never get played.”

Stephanie: “I married into money, but family is my fortune.”

Cary: “Every girl has skeletons in her closet. Mine are next to my Birkins.”

D’Andra: “I started from a Dallas dynasty, but I’ll finish with my own empire.”

Kameron: “Dumb blondes get noticed. Smart blondes get everything.”

LeeAnne: “I’m a true Texan: no bull, but all horns.”

These are slightly better than last year, but still not up to RHOBH standards. Don’t worry, ladies. You’ll get there.

The episode begins with Stephanie coming over to Cary’s house for a dog playdate (where are their children?) and being joined by Kameron, who is wearing a fluffy pink vest and carrying a tiny dog wearing a matching pink vest. Kameron is extremely wealthy, extremely blonde, and extremely proud of both.

Cary mentions that she’s throwing a party and inviting LeeAnne, who this group has been avoiding since she publicly accused Cary of stealing her husband away from his previous wife. Stephanie asks if the other ladies have seen the police report that Marie Reyes tweeted, detailing an incident in 2008 in which LeeAnne allegedly tried to stab an ex-boyfriend with a knife and hit him in the face with sandpaper.

Elsewhere, Brandi and LeeAnne meet up to do some shopping. “Surprise,” Brandi says in an aside. “I’m friends with LeeAnne!” She reveals that LeeAnne has been in anger management, and she’s seen a huge change in her former frenemy.

Back at Cary’s casa, Stephanie reveals that she hasn’t spoken to Brandi in nearly four months. Evidently Brandi cut her out, and Stephanie doesn’t understand why.

Brandi knows exactly what’s up, though. She tells her new BFF LeeAnne that talking about Stephanie gets her very emotional, because Stephanie talked behind her back and called her marriage “a slow-motion car crash,” which, let’s be honest, it kinda was. Brandi didn’t appreciate that, though, and she doesn’t appreciate the façade of having a perfect life she thinks Stephanie creates for herself.

Enough of that drama, though! Let’s see what’s up in glamorous new housewife Kameron’s world! She’s working on learning to cook, and, she admits she was a total nerd with no friends in high school. We all feel super sorry for you, Kameron.

She met her husband, Court, in college at SMU at the age of 22, but she wasn’t initially interested in him because, even though they are a perfect nerd match, she’s 6 feet tall, and he’s lovingly referred to as “the hobbit.” The couple lives in a 7,500-square-foot home in Highland Park with their two children, Hilton and Cruise. Oh, and she loves pink.

Later, LeeAnne and her boyfriend, Rich, meet up with D’Andra Simmons and her husband, Jeremy, for dinner. Both LeeAnne and Cary are friends with D’Andra, though there’s some beef over who is closer with the ultimate socialite.

In an introductory montage, D’Andra shows off her eclectic Highland Park home, decorated with artifacts the couple picked up all over the world (Jeremy is a military photographer). D’Andra’s mother is a self-made millionaire, having founded Ultimate Living, a nutritional supplement company. Evidently, D’Andra’s mother promised her she’d allow her to take over the company back in 2004, but D’Andra is still waiting for mommy to retire.

LeeAnne, meanwhile, proves that she really is trying to change, taking us along with her to a therapy appointment. During therapy, LeeAnne brings up the old police report, and she acknowledges that her instinct is to attack people who attack her. She realizes, though, that she needs to be the bigger person, particularly after the backlash she faced following her explosive behavior last season.

As Stephanie prepares dinner with her kids, she reveals that her relationship with her husband has improved since she’s been seeing less of Brandi. For their part, Brandi and her husband have mended their relationship, which is great, because what viewers saw last season was not pretty. Seems like both women are doing better in their marriages since they’ve started dating their husbands again instead of each other. The husbands still hang out, though. Awkward!

Over at a pet boutique, D’Andra joins Kameron to research dog food. Kameron, you see, is determined to start her own line of pink dog food. ‘Cause why eat brown food when you can eat pink food, amirite?

Later, Cary and LeeAnne meet up with their dogs. Of all the Housewives iterations, this one probably features the greatest number of women who actually are housewives with husbands and families, yet this episode is really playing up the dog parenting.

Cary admits to LeeAnne that her accusations from last season really hurt her family. LeeAnne apologizes, and Cary accepts, saying she wants to work on mutual respect with LeeAnne. When the topic turns to Stephanie and Brandi’s falling out, though, Cary gets a little miffed, as she thinks the situation between the former friends is none of her or LeeAnne’s business.

LeeAnne and Brandi ride together to the birthday party Cary is throwing for her husband, Mark, and Brandi reveals that she got a text from Stephanie earlier in the day, warning her to stay away from LeeAnne, because she’s “up to her old ways.” These are evidently Cary’s words, though, not Stephanie’s.

“Then Stephanie Hollman and I have a real problem,” LeeAnne says, even while attempting to practice the new zen-like nature she’s picked up in anger management. She and Brandi pray for peace before exiting the car and entering the party, but as soon as the other ladies spot them inside, the demeanor among them all turns icy. Well, as icy as things get in Dallas.

As all of the ladies sit down together, Brandi actively avoids making eye contact with Stephanie, whose plastered-on grin seems to melt off her face. When Stephanie asks Brandi to step aside and chat for a few seconds, LeeAnne doesn’t give anyone a chance to respond before shutting that idea down.

“Just text,” LeeAnne says, in a show of mock-helpfulness. “That’s what good phones are for!” Anger management is clearly keeping LeeAnne from erupting, but is there such a thing as meddling management? Can someone sign LeeAnne up for those classes?

Brandi, unable to deal with being so close to (yet so far from) her former friend, excuses herself to cry. LeeAnne thinks this is a great moment to confront Cary about the “up to her old ways” comment. Cary denies it and tries to get LeeAnne to distance herself from the Stephanie/Brandi drama, but the suggestion definitely does not stick.

As Brandi and LeeAnne, unlikely partners in crime, drive off into the brisk Dallas evening, Stephanie cries to Cary, feebly attempting to keep her excessive eye makeup from running all over her crisp, white turtleneck.

Next week, Stephanie’s eye makeup continues to streak down her cheeks while she cries about Brandi. But all is not lost, for there appears to be a scene in which LeeAnne yells at Stephanie while wearing a hot dog costume.

This, apparently, is what you get when you take a “carny” to anger management, and I am so here for it.

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Movie Review

Korean monster movie Hope delivers thrills despite its lengthy runtime

Photo courtesy of Neon

Hwang Jung-Min and Hoyeon in Hope.

Monster movies can take on all sorts of different flavors, from all-out mayhem to quieter ones where the monster can sometimes be the protagonist. The new South Korean film Hope splits the difference to a degree, delivering action-packed sequences while also attempting to understand the non-humans in a way.

The story starts in medias res, with an unseen creature having already done great damage to a huge bull and laying waste to much of a small Korean town. The local sheriff, Beom Seok (Hwang Jung-Min), tries to take control of the situation in the town, while a group of hunters led by Sung Ki (Zo In-Sung) travel into the nearby woods to see what they can find there.

Thus starts a nearly nonstop, 160-minute epic of each side trying (and mostly failing) to defend themselves against gigantic creatures who seem hellbent on destroying everything in their path. It’s not until 40 minutes into the film that the audience is shown one of the monsters in detail, and the less said the better about what it actually looks like, as the mystery behind it keeps the intrigue going.

That initial section of the film is the best, as Beom Seok — eventually joined by deputy Sung Ae (Hoyeon) — goes on a frantic hunt around the town, always just far enough behind the monster to keep from seeing it. The utter destruction he witnesses and his interactions with various locals are intense and oddly funny, with the hectic conversations he has laced with fear and incredulity over how different people choose to act.

Writer-director Na Hong-jin bounces back and forth between the people in the town and the group in the forest, doing his best to maintain the momentum of the first section. This approach works for a while as each group makes their own discoveries about the creatures and has run-ins with them that more often than not are ill-fated. Using a mixture of relatively good CGI, great production design, and an abundance of gore, the filmmaker shows he knows how to make an effective blockbuster-style film.

The trouble is, he doesn’t know when to stop. Somewhere around the two-hour mark of the movie, the story starts to become repetitive and Hong-jin introduces elements that don’t mesh well with what has come before. For some reason, he decides that some of the creatures should speak, a move that is baffling on several fronts. The biggest one is that they are voiced by English-speaking actors like Michael Fassbender, Alicia Vikander, and Taylor Russell, but each speaks a non-human language, rendering their performances moot.

Jung-min puts in a fantastic lead performance, one that requires him to vacillate between abject terror and in-control leadership. In-Sung is almost as good, although his character requires him to play one note over and over again. Hoyeon, who some may recognize from Squid Game, delivers an extra shot of energy when she enters the film, something she keeps going despite her character being forced to say some bad lines.

If Hong-jin had kept the focus Hope a little tighter, the sci-fi thriller might have ended up toward the top of this year’s films. But by choosing to extend the story into territories that don’t add much to the plot or make much sense, the filmmaker puts a damper on what was a fun and brutal monster movie.

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Hope is now playing in theaters.

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