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    Football fantasies

    Improv classes and cryogenic freezers: What the Dallas Cowboys should be doingthis weekend

    Claire St. Amant
    Oct 6, 2012 | 10:22 am
    • Head coach Jason Garrett is known for a highly academic brand of football.
    • Dez Bryant should spend the weekend taking healthy doses of ginkgo biloba andreviewing flashcards of his routes.
      Dallas Cowboys/Facebook
    • Kevin Ogletree had the best game of his career in week one against the New YorkGiants.
      Dallas Cowboys/Facebook
    • Jason Witten, please don't change a thing.
      Dallas Cowboys/Facebook
    • Tony Romo is at his best when plays break down and he is forced to improvise.

    One of the NFL's many great characteristics is that no matter how crappy a team plays one game, redemption is but a week away. Of course, not when it's a bye week.

    The Dallas Cowboys are stuck replaying that horrible game against Chicago until October 14. The game was not pretty, and I'm sure most players would like to get on the field sooner rather than later to erase the memory of a 34-18 drubbing.

    Instead, the Cowboys are left to stew for two weeks until they face the Baltimore Ravens. The new collective bargaining agreement limits how much time the Cowboys will be on the practice field at Valley Ranch, but I happen to believe in a little cross-training. Here's what five key Cowboys should be doing this weekend:

    Jason Garrett
    You really won everyone over with that initial red-headed Jesus charm of yours, but even one's delight in the divine runs thin after a while. You've been patient; you've been kind. Now it's time to try some wrath of God on for size.

    Jason Garrett, you've been patient; you've been kind. Now it's time to try some wrath of God on for size.

    Please check yourself into anger management for the weekend so you can learn how to channel your rage for the greater good. I know you're keen on this cool-under-the-collar, Ivy League image of yours, but this isn't a Phi Beta Kappa picnic. It's the National Football League.

    The next time the camera cuts to you after Dez Bryant runs the wrong route, or the O-line forgets the rules they are paid handsomely to remember, you should be righteously angry about it, not calmly consulting your clipboard.

    Dez Bryant
    When Bryant gets the play right, it's almost always a thing of beauty. The problem is that when he gets it wrong, he gets it really, really wrong.

    Pick-six wrong.

    No team can afford plays like that, let alone the notoriously moody Dallas Cowboys. Bryant should spend the weekend taking healthy doses of ginkgo biloba and reviewing flashcards of his routes. Excursions to NorthPark are not permitted.

    Jason Witten
    Whatever lingering spleen injury effects where plaguing Witten in the first three games of the season completely disappeared against Chicago. He was a beast, pulling down high passes and diving for low ones.

    Everything about Witten looked oh-so-healthy and healed last week that we hope he doesn't change a thing for October 14. Seriously, nothing can change.

    Romo should take improv classes. He needs the confidence to change plans whenever he sees fit, not just when everything goes to hell.

    To ensure this, Witten should spend the weekend in a cryogenic freezer that will preserve him in the exact same form as last week. Per his sponsorship agreement, his wife may open the freezer to serve him fine meats from Albertson's.

    Tony Romo
    Romo is at his best when plays break down and he has to improvise. This is a good thing. Quarterbacks should be playmakers, not carefully programmed robots. But Romo's only off Jason Garrett's leash when disaster strikes.

    To encourage Romo to be more creative, he should spend the weekend taking improv classes. Romo needs the confidence to change plans whenever he sees fit, not just when everything goes to hell.

    Kevin Ogletree
    Nobody had heard of Kevin Ogletree before week one, and then the entire NFL could scarcely stop talking about him.

    For some reason, after eight catches, 114 yards and two touchdowns, the Cowboys abandoned Ogletree. He was bascially a nonfactor against Seattle and Tampa Bay and made a slight appearance in the blow-out loss to Chicago.

    Miles Austin and DeMarco Murray are mainstays in the Dallas offense, but Ogletree deserves to get touches as much as they do.

    Ogletree should spend the weekend knocking on his teammates' doors and blowing up the coaches' phones. Maybe then they'll remember his name when they're calling plays on October 14.

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    Texas Rangers suddenly change streaming service for games mid-season

    Alex Bentley
    Jul 15, 2026 | 4:00 pm
    Houston Astros v Texas Rangers
    Photo by Ron Jenkins/Getty Images
    Texas Rangers fans will have to move to a new service to watch Wyatt Langford and the rest of the team play the remainder of the 2026 season.

    Baseball fans who like to stream Texas Rangers games will face an unexpected change as the team has abruptly switched from Victory+ to BZZR as the new direct-to-consumer distributor for televised game broadcasts.

    The broadcasts will no longer be available on former provider Victory+, effective immediately.

    According to a July 15 release, fans who have paid for subscriptions to Victory+ on a season-long or monthly basis will have their subscriptions transferred to BZZR (pronounced buzzer).

    Former Victory+ customers will receive an email prompting them to create a BZZR account and authenticate their subscription.

    The Dallas Morning News is reporting that the change was made "(a)mid growing concerns about the viability and financial solvency of Victory+."

    Victory+ had served as the streaming platform for Rangers games since the start of the 2025 season.

    “When Rangers Sports Network was launched in January 2025, we committed to providing our fans with the highest-quality options to watch our games,” said Rangers Sports Media and Entertainment Company chairman Neil Leibman in a statement.

    “It is unfortunate that this switch in direct-to-consumer distributors was necessary, but the decision was made in the best interest of both the Rangers and our fans. RSN is committed to continued delivery of the highest-quality game broadcast possible, and we feel BZZR is well-positioned to manage a seamless transition.”

    Rangers Sports Network will continue to produce and distribute Rangers local television broadcasts; the only change is the club’s direct-to-consumer distributor.

    There are no changes to RSN’s distribution through cable, satellite, or over-the-air providers, all of which will continue uninterrupted. A full list of distributors is available at rangers.com/tunein.

    For assistance with transferring a Victory+ subscription to BZZR, accessing the application, or creating a new account, fans can contact BZZR’s customer service representatives over the phone at 401-903-2997 or via email at txrangers@bzzr.com.

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