Football hypotheticals

4 replacements for Princetonian Cowboys coach Jason Garrett

Jason Garrett is 16-16 as head coach of the Cowboys since taking over halfwaythrough the 2010 season.
Photo courtesy of Dallas Cowboys
Chip Kelly's Oregon team boasts one of the most explosive offenses in collegefootball, and Kelly's name is being thrown around as an NFL target next season.
Photo by Abdoozy
Crazy idea here: Bring in Rex Ryan to team up with brother, Rob, and have theRyan boys co-coach the Cowboys. You would watch. You would watch so hard.

It’s no secret that the Cowboys have been underwhelming this season as they’ve stumbled their way to a 3-5 record. When the roster lists Pro-Bowl and Hall of Fame talent, the team's lackluster performance falls squarely on the shoulders of Jason Garrett and Jerry Jones.

Unfortunately for Dallas, Jones will control the Cowboys until they are pried from his cold, dead fingers. Garrett, however, has no such job security. Here are our top four choices to replace red-headed Jesus as the Dallas Cowboys head coach:

Sean Payton is currently serving a yearlong suspension for his role in the Bountygate scandal, which was either an elaborate and calculated system of inflicting injury for money by the Saints or the natural byproduct of Commissioner Roger Goodell’s overreaching judicial hubris, depending on whom you talk to.

The NFL has voided the contract between the New Orleans Saints and its former head coach, so Payton looks to be a free agent come the end of the season.

As calm and collected as Garrett might be, sometimes too much ice in the veins just leaves you with the imagination of a Slurpee.

Payton has ties to the Cowboys, where he was an assistant coach from 2003-05, but the Boys will have to get in line for him. Payton will be the most popular head coach candidate in the league.

No doubt that Jones will kick the tires come the end of the regular season (the Cowboys aren’t making the playoffs) to see if Payton would return to Dallas. But there are other coaches worth checking out, because as calm and collected as Garrett might be, sometimes too much ice in the veins just leaves you with the imagination of a Slurpee.

Bill Cowher, the former Steelers’ head coach, hasn’t donned a whistle since retiring after the 2006 season. He said in 2009 that he wasn’t going to coach in the immediate future. Well, four years later, Jones would do well to see if he could convince a coach with a 149-90-1 record in the NFL to come back.

Cowher has the pedigree and the proven track record that would ideally get players to buy in to the program and attract free agents to build upon. His intensity should rub off on a team that doesn’t run the ball well enough or create enough turnovers.

Chip Kelly is a promising prospect currently coaching at the college level. Jones could make huge waves if he can convince the Oregon coach to make the jump to the NFL with his fast-break offense that resembles a video game at times.

Oregon is averaging the following through nine games: 341.2 rushing yards per game, 6.3 yards per carry, 220 passing yards per game and 54.33 points per game. They are currently ranked No. 3 in the BCS and have a good chance to play for the national championship.

Jones could make huge waves if he can convince Oregon coach Chip Kelly to make the jump to the NFL.

We’re not saying that Kelly can simply copy and paste his offense for NFL success, but the man is an offensive guru that could possibly invigorate the NFL the way Bill Walsh’s West Coast offense did in the ’80s with the 49ers.

This last one is a bit unorthodox, but stick with us for a second.

Rex Ryan and the New York Jets are underperforming this season, which isn’t unexpected. Let’s say he doesn’t make it past this season with his job.

Bold move on Jones’ part: co-head coaches with Rex and his brother and current Cowboys defensive coordinator, Rob, at the helm. Sure they’re both defensive-minded guys, and it would be an inevitable disaster, but it’s just so crazy that it might actually work.

The media shit-storm alone would be worth the 3-13 season. Plus, we’d finally get a high draft pick for our misery.

Or we could stick with Garrett. The Cowboys are totally due to turn it around, right?

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for the win

Cheer on these Texans competing for Team USA in the 2026 Winter Olympics

Amber Glenn, 2026 Winter Olympics figure skater from Plano

teamusa.com/

Plano's famous figure skater Amber Glenn is on the roster.

The XXV Winter Olympic Games, also known as the Milano Cortina 2026, are right around the corner, running February 6-22 in northern Italy. Out of the 2,900 athletes who will participate in this year's Games, 232 will represent the U.S., with four hailing from the Lone Star State.

North Texans will recognize two local athletes in particular: Ice hockey player Hannah Bilka, who grew up in Coppell, and Plano's record-breaking figure skater Amber Glenn. Another figure skater, Emily Chan, also has ties to Dallas-Fort Worth.

To catch these Texas-born athletes in the 2026 Winter Olympics, viewers can tune in to NBC and its affiliate networks, websites, and apps (like Peacock).

Without further ado, these are the Winter Olympians competing for Team USA with roots in Texas. (Note that there are other athletes with Texas ties, like Jake Oettinger of the Dallas Stars, who are competing in the Olympics but aren't considered Texans.)

Hannah Bilka, 24
Sport: Ice hockey
Texas tie: Bilka grew up in Coppell and is the youngest of four children. At age six, she followed in the footsteps of her older brother, Anthony, and started playing hockey. Due to a "lack of girls’ hockey teams in Texas," she grew up playing hockey with boys.
Fun facts: She won the 2024 National Championship in women’s ice hockey with the Ohio State Buckeyes, the same university where she earned a master's degree in sport management. Her two older sisters, Christina and Stephanie, were figure skaters.
When to watch: The women's ice hockey preliminary round begins on Thursday, February 5. The women's bronze and gold medal matches will take place on Thursday, February 19.

Hannah Bilka, 2026 Winter Olympics hockey player Hannah Bilka is one of two North Texans competing in this year's Games.Photo courtesy of Getty Images

Emily Chan, 28
Sport: Pairs figure skating
Texas tie: Chan hails from Pasadena, a Houston-area suburb in Harris County, but she also calls Dallas home. She graduated from Texas Online Preparatory School as the valedictorian.
Fun facts: She loves to cook, bake, make jewelry, and dreams of opening her own café in the future. Her longtime skating partner, Spencer Akira Howe, is from Los Angeles. They both relocated to train at the Skating Club of Boston in 2019, where Chan now coaches young figure skaters. Chan is also pursuing a family and marriage counseling degree from Grand Canyon University.
When to watch: The figure skating "team event" kicks off on Friday, February 6. The pairs figure skating competition begins on Wednesday, February 16.

Emily Chan, 2026 Winter Olympics figure skater In addition to being a top-notch figure skater, Emily Chan is also trained in Chinese modern dance and ballet.teamusa.com/

Amber Glenn, 26
Sport: Singles figure skating
Texas tie: She was born in Plano, and started skating at just five years-old.
Fun facts: Glenn is a mental health advocate and a member of the LGBTQ+ community. She came out as pansexual in 2019. She loves to play Magic: The Gathering, and her dog, Uki, is named after stalking shadow card Ukkima. She also enjoys anime and Star Wars. On Friday, May 29, Glenn will visit Allen during the 2026 Stars on Ice Tour.
When to watch: The figure skating "team event" kicks off on Friday, February 6. The women's singles free skate competition begins Thursday, February 19.

Amber Glenn, figure skating Plano's Amber Glenn will have the Dallas-Fort Worth crowd on its feet. Facebook/ISU

Boone Niederhofer, 32
Sport: Bobsledding
Texas tie: Niederhofer grew up in San Antonio, and later became a wide receiver at Texas A&M University. His father, Dan, played football for Abilene Christian University. Niederhofer and his family previously lived in Midland .
Fun facts: Niederhofer has a degree in petroleum engineering and worked in Texas' oil and gas industry while competing in bobsledding competitions.
When to watch: The bobsled competition begins on Sunday, February 15. The men's two-man heat will take place on Tuesday, February 17, and the men's four-man heat is scheduled for Sunday, February 22.

Boone Niederhofer, 2026 Winter Olympics bobsledder Boone Niederhofer is a former Texas A&M University football player.Photo courtesy of Getty Images

winter olympics olympics texas amber glenn figure skating