4 replacements for Princetonian Cowboys coach Jason Garrett
It’s no secret that the Cowboys have been underwhelming this season as they’ve stumbled their way to a 3-5 record. When the roster lists Pro-Bowl and Hall of Fame talent, the team's lackluster performance falls squarely on the shoulders of Jason Garrett and Jerry Jones.
Unfortunately for Dallas, Jones will control the Cowboys until they are pried from his cold, dead fingers. Garrett, however, has no such job security. Here are our top four choices to replace red-headed Jesus as the Dallas Cowboys head coach:
Sean Payton is currently serving a yearlong suspension for his role in the Bountygate scandal, which was either an elaborate and calculated system of inflicting injury for money by the Saints or the natural byproduct of Commissioner Roger Goodell’s overreaching judicial hubris, depending on whom you talk to.
The NFL has voided the contract between the New Orleans Saints and its former head coach, so Payton looks to be a free agent come the end of the season.
As calm and collected as Garrett might be, sometimes too much ice in the veins just leaves you with the imagination of a Slurpee.
Payton has ties to the Cowboys, where he was an assistant coach from 2003-05, but the Boys will have to get in line for him. Payton will be the most popular head coach candidate in the league.
No doubt that Jones will kick the tires come the end of the regular season (the Cowboys aren’t making the playoffs) to see if Payton would return to Dallas. But there are other coaches worth checking out, because as calm and collected as Garrett might be, sometimes too much ice in the veins just leaves you with the imagination of a Slurpee.
Bill Cowher,the former Steelers’ head coach, hasn’t donned a whistle since retiring after the 2006 season. He said in 2009 that he wasn’t going to coach in the immediate future. Well, four years later, Jones would do well to see if he could convince a coach with a 149-90-1 record in the NFL to come back.
Cowher has the pedigree and the proven track record that would ideally get players to buy in to the program and attract free agents to build upon. His intensity should rub off on a team that doesn’t run the ball well enough or create enough turnovers.
Chip Kelly is a promising prospect currently coaching at the college level. Jones could make huge waves if he can convince the Oregon coach to make the jump to the NFL with his fast-break offense that resembles a video game at times.
Oregon is averaging the following through nine games: 341.2 rushing yards per game, 6.3 yards per carry, 220 passing yards per game and 54.33 points per game. They are currently ranked No. 3 in the BCS and have a good chance to play for the national championship.
Jones could make huge waves if he can convince Oregon coach Chip Kelly to make the jump to the NFL.
We’re not saying that Kelly can simply copy and paste his offense for NFL success, but the man is an offensive guru that could possibly invigorate the NFL the way Bill Walsh’s West Coast offense did in the ’80s with the 49ers.
This last one is a bit unorthodox, but stick with us for a second.
Rex Ryan and the New York Jets are underperforming this season, which isn’t unexpected. Let’s say he doesn’t make it past this season with his job.
Bold move on Jones’ part: co-head coaches with Rex and his brother and current Cowboys defensive coordinator, Rob, at the helm. Sure they’re both defensive-minded guys, and it would be an inevitable disaster, but it’s just so crazy that it might actually work.
The media shit-storm alone would be worth the 3-13 season. Plus, we’d finally get a high draft pick for our misery.
Or we could stick with Garrett. The Cowboys are totally due to turn it around, right?