Texas’ latest contribution to the national improv-comedy show known as the U.S. Senate, Ted Cruz, was in rare form late last week. For example: Watch this video, where the Tea Party darling questions Secretary of Defense nominee Chuck Hagel.

My favorite dialogue begins with Hagel’s reasonable question at the two-minute mark: “Senator, may I quickly respond to your first comment?”

Responds Cruz, in typically dickish fashion: “I’d like you to answer my question. My time is limited.” Oh, well, if that’s the standard — if we can’t rebut argumentum ad hominem because the attacker is on the clock — that should make this column easy to write. After all, I’ve got a limited word count.

So let me quickly say, Sen. Cruz, that you proved last week that you are not nearly as smart as your hagiographers suggest; that you seem happy to engage in a smear campaign on a good man (lifelong Republican, BTW) to placate the suburban and rural dullards to whom you owe your election; and that I’m pretty sure you are not “Ted Cruz” but that your true identity is that of Blaine, Missouri pharmacist and councilman Steve Stark.

PROVE ME WRONG, YOU LOUSY CANUCK!

What’s that, Sen. Cruz? I’m sorry, I’ll have to ask you to shut your dirty Canadian mouth. We’ve no time for rebuttals. I have limited time to continue my assault.

Here is the bottom line: Ted Cruz is not smart. He is clever. There is a difference. Smart people know they know little. Think Socrates. Clever people believe they are always right; they believe they can rationalize and argue their way out of any situation. Think every entitled corporate executive or politician you’ve ever encountered.

Also, think Ted Cruz. He believes he’s more clever than everyone else because his worldview has been forged in the white-hot pit of Tea Party insanity. He thinks he is beholden to no one, to no standard of accuracy, to no barometer of fairness.

That’s why the many news stories of the past few days that decried his McCarthy-like performance mean nothing to him. (See this one in the New York Times, or this awesome opinion piece from the same paper, or this one from the Washington Post, or even this summarization from the Dallas Morning News.) He answers only to his own twisted sense of logic, one where the ends justifies the means.

And the ends to which he seeks? Don’t know, don’t care. I only know that he is, like the alcoholic raging against those trying to stage an intervention, ignoring everyone around him and hurtling his party toward rock bottom.

I’ve said this before, I know, but it bears repeating: I should be happy about this, but I’m not. It’s no fun living in a state associated with this bottom-feeder. Sure, as a showboating lunatic, Cruz gives me great columnar fodder. But because he represents our great state, I can’t seem to properly enjoy him bringing about the total irrelevancy of his party on a nationwide scale.

If you doubt that last statement, read the wonderful magazine piece from this weekend by Texan Robert Draper, who spent time with young techno-savvy Republicans and chronicled their utter disgust at troglodytes like Cruz. And if you think Cruz’s unique Canadian-Cuban ancestry makes it worth putting up with his wingnut-ery, choke on this Obama-operative quote from said story:

And anyone who ignores history data, and common sense like Cruz does is not smart. In fact, clever may be a stretch.

I’d like to give Sen. Cruz time to rebut this, but I’ve reached my word count. I’m sure he understands.

Elsewhere

There are so many things that are sad about this story of the Irving official who keeps way too many dogs at his house, not the least of which is that he lives in freaking Irving.

There is a white buffalo at Fuel City. I am serious.

Hey, my former journalism professor, Jim Schutze, is calling for Mary Suhm to be sacked. Welcome to the party, teach!

Farmers Branch has now spent $7 million to unsuccessfully try to bar undocumented immigrants from renting in the city. To which I say: giggle.

To summarize this excellent report by the DMN: The Dallas Police and Fire Pension System, the fund that owns Museum Tower and $400 million in luxury real estate worldwide, is not what one would call a conservative investment vehicle.

Retweets

Print media is doing just fine. Nothing to see here. Move along.

This guy went to Harvard, is a lawyer, blah blah blah. That doesn't mean he's smart.

  

Tedcruz.org

This guy went to Harvard, is a lawyer, blah blah blah. That doesn't mean he's smart.