The 2018 Texas Rangers season nominally brings back baseball, but the real sport these days is the food, with a new crop of over-the-top concessions from Sportservice, the Globe Life Park in Arlington concessionaire.
There's a $27 chicken sandwich, french fries made of ham, and a vegan version of nachos, unveiled in time for the season opener on March 29 when the Rangers play the Houston Astros.
Here's the lineup:
Dilly Dog. A Best Maid dill pickle cored out and stuffed with an Angus Beef jumbo dog, battered, and fried. Like a corndog with a pickle layer. It's $10.
Triple B. Bacon, brisket, and bologna — three meats whose only connection is their first letter — topped with Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ Sauce on a soft roll. $18.
Cinnamon Roll. Iced cinnamon bun, battered and deep fried; topped with raspberry and chocolate sauce. Deep-frying a cinnamon roll makes it harder to tell if it's stale. $10.
Cheetos Jalapeño Bacon Dog. Hot dog wrapped in bacon, covered with Cheetos cheese sauce, and topped with spicy jalapeños and crunchy Cheetos. Cheetos cheese sauce, that has to be regular old queso, right. $11.
Chicken Sandwich. Full-size chicken breast split, crusted in Lay's Original potato chips, and fried; served on a giant bun with lettuce, tomato, spicy mayo, and more Lay's chips. The chicken version of that 2-foot-long hot dog, it seems like it's something decent people would split. But that sounds so messy. $27.50.
Vegan Nacho Grande. Tostitos tortilla chips topped with house-made vegan chili and vegan cheese sauce, lettuce, tomato, olives, and Beyond Crumbles. Beyond Crumbles are a vegan substitute for ground beef, with all of the protein and half the fat — 13g of protein and 3g of fat — of regular meat.$13.
Nitro Cold Brew Coffee. Cuvee Nitro Cold Brew coffee offered on draft with Monin French vanilla or hazelnut syrup and almond milk. This is offered at the vegan stand, which is obviously the "cool" stand. $7.50.
Ham Fries. Ham cut into sticks, battered and fried. Sounds greasy, but can probably sit under the heat lamp indefinitely. $7.50.
Pickle Fries. Fried dill pickle spears. $7.50.
Spicy Garlic Buffalo Fries. Garlic fries topped with wing sauce. $10.50.
Cracker Jack Cheetos Popcorn. Cracker Jacks are added to Cheetos popcorn. They're really on a Cheetos kick. $9.
Vegan Top N Go Frito Pie. Top N Go Fritos Scoops served with vegan chili and cheese. $8.75.
Garlic Tots or Chips. Tater tots or thick cut Yukon gold chips topped with garlic oil and shredded Parmesan cheese. $14.25.
The State Fair started this outrageous food stuff in 2006. The Rangers dipped their toe into the waters in 2013 with their introduction of a 2-foot-long sausage, and never turned back.
The Rangers have beaten the State Fair in one dining niche: vegan. Working with Veggie Texas Ranger Fans, the ballpark added a vegan menu in 2016, and subsequently were named No. 1 spot on a 2017 list of Top 10 Vegan-Friendly Ballparks in the country. All the State Fair has going for it in that realm is Fletcher's Corny Dogs vegetarian hot dog.
Other options at Globe Life are at Rebecca Creek Saloon, the bar concept from whiskey maker Rebecca Creek Distillery, which has its own set of new dishes:
Bacon jam burger. A jam made from Rebecca Creek Whiskey, applewood smoked bacon, goat cheese, red onion. $15.
Poblano burger. Queso Oaxaca, stuffed grilled poblano pepper. $15.
Smoked pork ribs. Served by the half pound with jalapeño cornbread, coleslaw, pickles, espresso-chili BBQ sauce, and Texas Ranger Whiskey BBQ sauce. $15.
Chicken tacos, brisket tacos, $11.