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TV Hot Take

Bravo cuts off Real Housewives of Dallas' 'Jesus juice' after 5 overserved seasons

Stephanie Allmon Merry
Aug 23, 2021 | 5:02 pm

The Real Housewives of Dallas are cordially uninvited back to the party. Bravo has switched off the show after five seasons.

"There are currently no plans to bring The Real Housewives of Dallas back next year, and beyond that, nothing official has been decided," Bravo said in a statement.

That leaves the door slightly cracked for a return, perhaps to stream on NBC's Peacock, as The Real Housewives of Miami is doing after being canceled in 2013.

But as Newsweek points out, even a return in the digitalsphere would likely take a fan campaign, which — with a paltry 337,000 viewers for the Season 5 premiere and 578,000 for the season finale in May, one-quarter of the show's New York and Atlanta franchise viewership — isn’t likely to happen. Especially not in Dallas, which pretty universally face-palmed the show, or flipped it the bird altogether.

CultureMap was all in when RHOD launched in spring 2016 as buzzy bubble-gum TV — turn off your brain, grab your favorite carbs and a bottle of wine, and spend an hour spotting DFW hot spots and laughing as the rich Dallas women dissed Plano. In the first few episodes, we learned the fun new terms “Jesus juice” (white wine) and “charity world” and raised a Botoxed eyebrow or two at the amount of childish “poop and pee” talk we were subjected to. (Pour more Jesus juice! We’re having a good time!)

Despite low ratings, RHOD got another season, then another and another. Cast members came and went. On screen, they fought like cats and accused each other’s husbands of cheating like dogs; threw parties and threw glasses; drank too much and refused to eat weird food; took trips to Austin and trips to Mexico.

Off screen, the Dallas “Bravo-lebrities” launched beauty products and jewelry lines, and even a brand of pink dog food.

There were some beautiful and meaningful moments, like LeeAnne Locken’s State Fair proposal and glittery but heartfelt wedding. Stephanie Hollman shared her gut-wrenching experiences with suicidal ideation. Brandi Redmond let viewers along on her infertility and adoption journeys.

But by the final season — filmed and aired amid the COVID-19 pandemic, economic crisis, racial reckonings, and deeply divided political landscape — the show had gone off the rails in ways it couldn’t really recover from.

In a world experiencing so many harsh realities, this reality TV show didn’t provide the fun, carb-loaded, Jesus juiced-up distraction it could have. Instead it became a laborious exercise in who could out-"racism" and "non-racism" and "anti-racism" who, which carried over from the screen to social media.

In a year when nonprofits in the Dallas “charity world” were desperate for funds and local businesses were desperate for shoppers, the show threw one long, indulgent birthday party for one cast member and had the women stupidly spanking each other with charcuterie boards on a shopping expedition to a local business.

And in an economy where so many workers lost jobs and struggled to care for their kids at all, viewers were expected to sympathize with a doctor-"housewife," who is married to a kajillionaire, about the guilt she felt for wanting to stay home more so she could take her kids to the family’s hotel for tea parties.

Viewers were practically screaming, "Look, lady. Stay home or don't stay home. Make up your mind. You have a choice, K? BRB, headed to the food bank for pickup."

And then: So. Much. Fighting.

Mother-daughter fighting, tequila-shot fighting, dim-sum fighting, who's-the-bigger-bully fighting, who's-the-better-Christian fighting, secret-crickets-on-pizza fighting, you-insulted-Bigfoot-hunter fighting ... fighting is as much a part of Real Housewives franchises as designer bags, but for the love of Birkin, there'd already been enough fighting on the nearby cable news stations every night since early 2020. During the pandemic-slash-election season, they could have zipped their unmasked lips and done something interesting.

It seemed, more and more, like this once-fun, fancy-Dallas-people "fantasy" was just fake drama being put forth as throwaway entertainment in a world — and a city — that had moved on to more valuable investments. By the last season, RHOD wasn't a feel-good escape; it was a cringey crash-and-burn.

So, raise a glass of Jesus juice to the fun that was the first few episodes, and hope the next Dallas-set show treats charcuterie boards with a bit more kindness.

A vintage photo from Season 1, way back in 2016.

Real Housewives of Dallas cast
Photo courtesy of Bravo
A vintage photo from Season 1, way back in 2016.
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This week's hot headlines

CMT Awards' Texas debut tops this week's 5 most-read Dallas stories

Stephanie Allmon Merry
Nov 12, 2022 | 10:00 am
Carrie Underwood Kelsea Ballerini Moody Center
Getty Images for CMT
The CMT Music Awards are coming to Austin's Moody Center in 2023/

Editor's note: A lot happened this week, so here's your chance to get caught up. Read on for the week's most popular headlines. Looking for the best things to do this weekend? Find that list here.

1. Texas will host CMT Music Awards for the first time ever in 2023. Big news for country music fans: During Carrie Underwood's sold-out show in Austin on November 2, CMT Music Awards co-host Kelsea Ballerini came on stage to announce that the CMT Music Awards will come to the city's new Moody Center next year. Airing Sunday, April 2, 2023, the fan-voted awards ceremony will be hosted in Texas for the first time ever.

2. Where to see the most spectacular Christmas lights dazzling Dallas-Fort Worth in 2022. Tis barely the season for Dallas-Fort Worth to light up, merry and bright, for the 2022 holidays — from towering trees that twinkle and shine to dazzling drive-thru displays and immersive walk-thru experiences. Here's our guide to the biggest, brightest, most spectacular Christmas light displays in the area.

3. Pop rock powerhouse Paramore heads to North Texas on new North American arena tour. Dallas-Fort Worth fans of alterna-emo-pop group Paramore and their radio-ready hooks can catch the trio next year during a just-announced stadium tour. The act famous for anthemic singles such as "Ain't It Fun," "Misery Business," and "Still Into You" will hit Fort Worth's Dickies Arena on July 8, 2023, with Foals and The Linda Lindas as openers.

4. Dallas architecture firm nabs top floor of cool MCM Meadows Building. A Dallas design firm has snagged the top floor of an iconic building: SHM Architects, PLLC, has leased a 12,218-square-foot space at the historic Meadows Building at Energy Square, located at 5646 Milton St., relocating from their offices at 4514 Travis St. in the Knox District.

5. Beachy tiki-styled bar to surf into Downtown Plano, pina coladas in hand. Surf's up in Plano with a fun new venue coming soon: Called Coco Beach, it's a tiki-themed bar and restaurant diving into historic Downtown Plano, with an opening targeted for December.

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Animal News

Dallas joins a dozen-plus Texas cities in banning sales of puppy mill pets

Teresa Gubbins
Nov 11, 2022 | 3:00 pm
kittens dog
Photo courtesy of Kuper Sotheby's International Realty

Hetting along like cats and dogs.

A new animal ordinance approved by the Dallas City Council in May goes into effect November 11. Called the humane pet store ordinance, it forbids pet stores in Dallas from selling puppies or kittens from commercial breeders.

Dallas joins Austin, Bryan, College Station, El Paso, Euless, Fort Worth, Houston, New Braunfels, Pasadena, San Antonio, The Colony, Sherman, and Waco among Texas cities that have passed similar ordinances.

The ordinance was recommended by the Dallas Animal Shelter (DAS), as well as groups such as Texas Humane Legislation Network (THLN), which works to promote better treatment of animals.

In Dallas, it affects only one store: Petland. Other pet store chains such as PetSmart, Pet Supplies Plus, Petco, Odyssey, The Upper Paw, Pet Supermarket, and Uptown Pup do not sell puppies or kittens.

Dallas has only one Petland store, at 11909 Preston Rd. #1428 - one that's been plagued by criminal activity including repeated thefts. The chain has been the target of protests for more than a decade and the subject of repeated investigations by the Humane Society of the United States.

The Dallas ordinance is Sec. 7-4.5 "SALE OF DOGS AND CATS" and says that it's "an offense to sell, exchange, barter, give away, transfer, or offer or advertise for sale, a dog or cat four months of age or older unless the dog or cat is currently vaccinated or cannot be vaccinated due to health reasons as verified by a licensed veterinarian, and the person has a current registration receipt and registration tag for the dog or cat."

The only exceptions are animal services, an animal welfare organization, or an animal adoption agency, who charge adoption fees.

“The ordinance will help stop hundreds of puppies from being shipped in from out-of-state puppy mills and sold to unsuspecting consumers,” said Stacy Sutton Kerby, Director of Government Relations at THLN. “We applaud the Dallas City Council for recognizing the importance of halting the sale of commercially-bred animals in retail pet stores."

Over the years, the THLN helpline has regularly received complaints about Dallas retail stores selling sick or unhealthy puppies. Ending the sale of commercially-bred puppies and kittens in retail pet stores will encourage consumers to acquire puppies or kittens from a reputable breeder or shelter, both of which provide full health history, age, and vaccination information.

"Dallas Animal Services is excited to see the Humane Pet Store Ordinance go into effect,” said MeLissa Webber, Director of Dallas Animal Services. “It was a genuine community effort that started with Dallas animal advocates and quickly garnered support from DAS and the City Council. With shelters all over the metroplex struggling with capacity, we are hopeful that more families looking to add another pet to their home will choose to adopt, not shop. After all, there are incredible pets available to adopt at Dallas Animal Services and an estimated 20% of pets in shelters are purebred."

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Texas Tornado

Re-released documentary explores the greatest Texas musician you've probably never heard of

Hannah J. Frías
Nov 11, 2022 | 2:01 pm
Sir Doug and the Genuine Texas Cosmic Groove explores the life and times of Doug Sahm.
Courtesy of Arts and Labor
Sir Doug and the Genuine Texas Cosmic Groove explores the life and times of Doug Sahm.

What do Guy Clark, Hank Williams, the Beatles, Bob Dylan, Willie Nelson, ABBA, and Freddy Fender all have in common? Apart from being icons in their own right, each legend's name has at one time or another been in the same sentence as one Texas musician you may have never heard of. Why? One documentary, Sir Doug and the Genuine Texas Cosmic Groove, explores this and more, and it's available to stream again this week.

"Has San Antonio lost its soul? Has Austin lost its groove? Dough Sahm is the answer," reads a recent release for the documentary ahead of its re-release.

Born on the same day as Guy Clark in 1941, San Antonio native Dough Sahm started singing at age 5, playing steel guitar at age 6, followed by the fiddle and mandolin at age 8. At 11, he joined Hank Williams at Austin's Skyline Club for what turned out to be Williams' final show before his untimely death. As a teen, Sahm had hit country western radio records before reaching international fame (and a nod from Bob Dylan) with his rock-and-roll, Beatles-inspired band, Sir Douglas Quintet.

Sahm started playing steel guitar at age 6, followed by the fiddle and mandolin at age 8.Sahm started playing steel guitar at age 6, followed by the fiddle and mandolin at age 8.Courtesy of Arts+Labor

A bust up over cannabis possession sent Sahm to California right before the "Summer of Love" in 1967, where the band explored the psychedelic San Francisco scene. Returning to Texas in the '70s, he joined Willie Nelson on his Shotgun Willie record and became an integral part of the new Americana genre emerging out of Austin at that time. He moved to Sweden in the '80s, knocking ABBA off the top charts with the song Meet Me in Stockholm. And in the '90s, his new group, the Texas Tornadoes, featured fellow Texas musicians Freddy Fender, Flaco Jimenez, and Augie Meyers.

Sir Doug and the Genuine Texas Cosmic Groove explores the enormous variety of genres Sahm absorbed into his own music, and the impact he left behind in each genre in return. Originally screened at South by Southwest in 2015, the film's website summarizes its portrait of Sahm as an "artist who had so much music inside himself that he had to play all the varied sounds he was schooled in in order to satisfy his soul."

Directed by noted historian and author Joe Nick Patoski, who also co-wrote the film along with Jason Wehling, the documentary won multiple awards at film festivals around the world, landing on Amazon Prime before disappearing from circulation altogether in 2020 after initial music and visual licensing rights expired.

Thanks to the Society for the Preservation of Texas Music (SPTM), the documentary was re-released on November 6, 2022, in honor of what would have been Sahm's 81st birthday. For the re-release, SPTM partnered with Austin-based production company Arts+Labor and digital distribution platform seer.la, which also produced the groundbreaking Guy Clark documentary, Without Getting Killed or Caught.

Doug SahmA still from the documentary Sir Doug and the Genuine Texas Cosmic Groove.Courtesy of Arts+Labor

“The revival of the film comes at a critical moment for Doug’s hometown of San Antonio, and his adopted home of Austin,” says Patoski in the release. “Both cities have grown rapidly and are growing towards each other, becoming a single metropolitan area of five million people touted as America’s next great metroplex. Nowhere else in the United States are two connected metro areas expanding so rapidly. Folks who don’t know Doug Sahm from Houdini need to see this film to better appreciate why San Antonio and Austin are such special, soulful places with a groove that fostered and championed the artistry of the greatest single musician to ever represent the state of Texas.”

The documentary is available for worldwide streaming at sirdougfilm.com.


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